25+ yr Java/JS dev
Linux novice - running Ubuntu (no windows/mac)

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Joined 6 months ago
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Cake day: October 14th, 2024

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    1. Went to Canada. No earthly idea why. Drove through London on our way to the Niagara Falls, then looped back around, saw hydroplane races in Syracuse, and stayed in the weirdest motel ever somewhere in Penn or Ohio because it was really cheap. This was the most WTF vacation I’ve ever been on. No idea what my parents had in mind. I literally only remember being on the car.
    2. Went to Thailand for about ten days. Stopped in Laos for an afternoon and got a t-shirt and snake whisky. Almost set foot in Cambodia, but the border was closed so we got our passports stamped and that was all. Saw a bunch of monks on cell phone’s and smoking cigarettes. Saw so many freaking temples. Went to the bridge on the river Kwai. Ate some good food. Saw the red light district. Thought it would be sexy, but it was just depressing. Loved the people and the experience and want to go back some day. Also saw Tokyo through airport window.
    3. Went to Mexico to get drunk and eat good food for a week at a resort. Got drunk and ate well for a week. Went to a xenote and swam.
    4. Went to the Bahamas to get drunk on boat for a week. Twice. Got drunk for a week both times. Also snorkeled at some point and visited pigs on an island.
    5. Headed to the Dominican Republic to get drunk in Punta Cana for a week in about ten days. Might do a topless cruise depending on how my wife feels. Jury is still out, but I have a feeling I’ll successfully get drunk for about a week.

  • MagicShel@lemmy.ziptoCasual Conversation @lemm.eeStory
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    1 day ago

    As an adult, I find people appreciate me more when I speak less. If I don’t say much, speak slowly, and only open my mouth when the conversation will be improved by it, I tend to be well liked.

    The more someone really gets to know me, the less they tend to like me. I think. My wife tells me people like me a lot, but I don’t really see any evidence of that. I think I’m just easy to tolerate.

    As to the subject of cringe memories, I have a whole litany I run through every time my brain tries telling me I’m a shit person. No real advice there other than the worst cringe memories were formative for me, making sure I never felt that humiliation again.






  • I respect your ethical take. But my respect doesn’t put food on your table. Do what you have to do to sleep at night, and maybe that’s an ethical decision or maybe it’s just knowing you sleep better with a roof over your head.

    If you consider yourself a highly ethical person, I wouldn’t be in sales of I were you. It’s hard to find really successful salesmen without a lot of gray area in their ethics.

    But at the end is the day, you probably can’t know that your boss won’t find a way to deliver. Anyway good luck. Sounds like a difficult position to be in.



  • They learn far more by watching than by listening. If you want to have great kids, be a great person. That was where I failed them.

    Beyond that, responsibility and intellectual curiosity and independent thought. I mostly nailed that last one… those little assholes never listen to me even when I have receipts—it has to be receipts they give a damn about. I couldn’t be more proud, but they are difficult.




  • I don’t know that I’d agree it’s unnatural. My observation, from far too many years on the internet, is that fighting passionately over minor differences is quite natural. But it’s all very impersonal here, and if someone seems to be really intense about an issue, or if I feel myself getting that way, it’s time to take a break from that conversation. Maybe block them if it seem consistent because sometimes you just can’t have a healthy conversation with a person and what’s the point of engaging with them, then?

    I’m really suspicious of anyone who doesn’t hold a single opinion that differs with the zeitgeist. I don’t expect anyone to agree with me all the time, and I don’t agree with anyone on issue B just because we happen to align on issue A. And don’t even get me started on morons I agree with, but who make terrible arguments I’m going to be expected to hold with and defend by association.

    Then I step away from the computer and go deal with the nuances of life where nothing is so clear cut as the hypotheticals we engage with online.


  • I didn’t say they couldn’t have sex. Or wouldn’t. I said not to condone it. I wouldn’t encourage it happening by inviting my children’s boyfriends/girlfriends to come over and have sex.

    Perhaps this sounds unhinged in Sweden, but this is a liberal attitude in America—not the most liberal attitude, to be sure, but folks who condone kids having sex are often seen as about one step removed from pedophiles here, despite all of us knowing it happens and having done it ourselves. Hypocrisy abounds.

    Most Americans sound more like my wife. “Fuck no. End of conversation.” Perhaps punctuated with hysterical laughter at the suggestion that such a question would even be contemplated.

    But I also come to this post inferring that OP is weighing choices and trying to decide if his instinct is overly restrictive/permissive, and I support the idea that it’s a serious question. That it’s okay to feel it’s wrong but question whether it really is. Or visa versa. Hence my answer.

    I don’t judge how anyone else chooses to live, but if someone asks an opinion, I’ll give it.


  • So… there is no way she would be sleeping over in his bedroom in this house.

    When I was a kid roughly that age, I had sleepovers with girlfriends on a couple of certain occasions involving travel. Either she was invited to spend the weekend at my grandparents’ cottage, or I think I was invited to attend an event with my girlfriend’s dad.

    I/she slept on a couch in the living room in both cases. In both cases, sex was had anyway, despite their best attempts, but at least the attempt was made. Sex wasn’t condoned and that’s what I would aim for to be honest.

    Can they do a sleepover? I guess if you are okay with it and you hear from her parents that they are okay with it, then you can go for it, but IMO you should make it clear that sex is not to happen and you should take steps to prevent it from happening… with the understanding that it will probably happen regardless, but you can’t really prevent it anyway. Make sure protection is available if there are any concerns.

    That’s how I’d handle it, anyway, if it were up to me. I’m also certain my wife’s answer would be, “absolutely fucking not,” so my answer is somewhat moot, which perhaps gives me a little freedom to have a more permissive viewpoint towards things.


  • AI is just a fun toy. It can’t make “art.” There are CEOs out there fucking thirsty at the idea of a 59% unemployment rate because everyone else is cut out of their business, but AI can’t do the job and they will learn that the hard way after fucking over a bunch of people.

    Even the success stories seem skeptical. I use AI all the time at work to assist with coding, and beyond that I use it all the time for fun—my job is safe because AI is fucking awful at it.

    So anyway I don’t hate it per se, but I don’t like it other than jokey shit. But I don’t want to see it everywhere, either.




  • I’m not going to be out of house and home (at least I can weather it for a while) but beyond that, we’ll just have to see. Used to be I could find a new spot within a week or two, but the market has really turned in the last couple of years.

    I appreciate your concern, but my wife is still working, making about half of what I normally do, and we are getting our health insurance through her. We largely live below our means, so we’ll be alright for a bit.

    You know, unless some crazy dictator comes along and starts trashing the economy… oh…