New phone would be nice, this one started to show its age. I still wearing the cloth i buy years ago.

VOD: April Fools’ Day

Saddest part of this post. Would watch it because it sounds interesting.

It seems everyone in my circle really like Uptown Girl by Westlife, it’s like mandatory song.

To me it kinda have to depend on what kind of murder. Accidentally killed someone in self defence or as a victim of abuse? Yeah it can be forgiven. Going out of their way to kill someone or doing something that’s dangerous that result in killing someone? That’s unforgivable.

Intentionally did something dangerous that you know will get people hurt with a slightest mistake. Like driving recklessly, or pushing others in a huge crowd. There’s no amount of sorry will make me believe you’re remorseful, you’re only sorry because stuff that will happen happened.

Ohh and embezzlement of public fund. Fuck off with that crocodile tear.

Technology city of Shenzhen, mountain range, great wall, Mulan, winnie the pooh, three kingdom, wuxia story, and mala peppercorn.

Ohh and it’s my ancestral land.

You’re not content enough to accept.

Yeah, same. To that end, i feel extremely lonely because i can’t express like i supposed to be and have to suppress the feeling. Growing up i was taught not to cry, because men don’t cry, so i basically have two expression, smile and resting bitch face. Even when the time i have severe depression and had suicide thought, i still smile while talking with friends back then, which kinda makes me think i’m fine.

While my current friend group is much more open to the concept and woman friend is much easier to talk with, i still find it hard to talk to them because it’s just so hard to tell them what is actually wrong, because shit isn’t stem from a single issue, it’s a long running build up of the size of the mountain, and they seems to can’t get that, which then got offered an unsolicited advice that is way off from what i feel. I tried it a few times, i pretty much gave up now.

I also find it hard to try looking for a partner in my current state. The last one, while it isn’t toxic, still treat marriage as something the man must uphold, man must do this and have that and have certain income, instead of an equal partner i’m looking for. Looking around and seeing how the world operate around me and what’s the average woman looking for, equal partner is just a distance dream. I’m chinese and this is in asia btw.

As for how i cope, my cats is basically my closest best friends, i can do silly face with them, laugh freely, and don’t have to hold up my tear in front of them. I also went casual cycling frequently, i find myself much more expressive while on bike and happier, hiking does help too, i feel human when people just randomly greet me and i greet back. I also ignore people with toxic masculinity, a way to tell them their opinions doesn’t matter, basically shrugging their words away without causing conflict.

In Malaysia we use both metric and imperial even though we only learn metric in school, so ehh it’s still quarter mile

Do i have something lining up ahead and financially stable? Sure, the downtime can be helpful and more time on hand means more time to look for opportunities. If not, i’d stick with it.

Sad to see 1/3 of german voted for nazi in both local and federal vote.

It’s a good thing i have a weak memory ehh 🤣

I think i’ve played most arkane game up till prey, i heard deathloop is their last good game but it’s also a hit and miss. Prey is super good as well, i think i did like 3 or 4 playthrough, still haven’t play mooncrash though but it’s definitely on my list.

Started to replay Dishonored again to catch up with the story before playing death of outsider. Such a great series. .

There’s a time and place for everything!

This one?

On the couch by the tv linked to my pc

Aha, that might be it. Slip into the nipple, clamp it down using the two lever and pump the grease.

Sounds like instagram or imgur?

Hey, resting is hard to come by and it takes a lot of effort to do just that you know.