I’m definitely a sensitive man. Like most sensitive men, I definitely find it challenging in the “yeah, you gotta eat 50 lb of bacon, pump iron 7x a day, never smile, and always take on a challenge” world of masculinity. I mean, we’ve definitely come a long way over the last decade making emotions something men can accept, but we got a long way to go.
Most articles I read about sensitive men are mostly about hiding it, how we’re not supposed, to, and then when we do we’ll feel better, blah blah blah. But I’m already expressive. I find it challenging, from both men and women.
From men, I don’t feel like a man (I don’t mean in the sexual sense…just from a psychological sense). In men’s groups I get so tired of talking about work and (maybe) hobbies I just wanna run out of the room screaming. It’s hard to find any other men who are okay talking about their feelings. When I do (I’m not afraid to), I find no one is able to relate.
From women, I think they often want to see me as a stereotypical stoic man. So when I do express myself, I’m seen as “not manly,” which can be a turnoff, whether for romance or friendship.
So how do other sensitive men cope with expressing their feelings?
Historically, I’d say I’m sensitive. At the same time, I feel like over the decades I’ve built up a pretty mild manner where most everything that doesn’t spark joy just rolls off my back. I’m also a confident person, which helps.
I definitely still cry at movies, and was kept up the other night thinking about all the cats out in the cold that don’t have loving homes.
On what some might consider the more negative side of the coin, I’ve stopped having long term romantic relationships. They breed negative sensitivities and habits within me, and eventually none of it makes me happy or healthy. But, then again, coming to terms with my nature in that regard is liberating in itself.