No gf, no friends, it’s hard to meet new people. Tinder and other apps don’t work. Idk even if I travel somewhere I’m alone

  • Universal Monk@lemmyusa.comEnglish
    1·
    4 days ago

    Sorry to hear you’re going through that, friend. How old are you, if you don’t mind me asking?

    When you’re younger, loneliness can feel overwhelming, but as you get older, it tends to ease up naturally as you meet more people. I have a lot of friends, and my girlfriend is amazing, so I can’t complain. But honestly, sometimes I wish I had fewer people around so I could focus more and get things done.

    I’m not trying to downplay what you’re dealing with—sometimes I even envy the quiet, since no one’s around to bother you!

    I don’t have any solid advice, though. I’m a selfish prick, and I’ve always managed to have a pretty full social life. I have no idea what the solution is for ya.

    But I’m glad you have Lemmy to at least share stuff with people.

  • gibmiser@lemmy.worldEnglish
    0·
    27 days ago

    Join a club or organization or volunteer somewhere. It has to be in person and you have to go even if at first you aren’t comfortable.

    All the friends people make at school are happy accidents of proximity and chance. Same with coworker friends. You have to make some luck for yourself, put yourself in situations where you will regularly see the same people and get to know them through what you are doing.

    Also, don’t focus on romance, focus on friendship. Romance will come naturally - not forced.

    I know this does not come easy for most people in your situation. It feels stupid and awkward but chance and circumstances play a huge role in making friends.

    • iamtrashman1312@lemmy.worldEnglish
      1·
      26 days ago

      I can answer since OP hasn’t, and it sounds like they’ll agree

      What I want from a friend, partner, whatever is someone who understands and shares my beliefs, values, and circumstances. That last one is, I’ve learned, actually pretty important.

      The friends I had in my 20s have changed, as have I since then. Most of them aren’t really my friends anymore, some for damn good reasons. The friends I still have, though I love them to death, do not live a life like mine and haven’t for several years now. Due to things outside of any one person’s control, our lives have started to look so dissimilar that it’s getting increasingly difficult for us to relate. I don’t know how much they see it, and I don’t know how to fix it. My friends are still people I am proud to call my friends and it seems like they feel the same for now, but that won’t bridge the growing gap forever