No gf, no friends, it’s hard to meet new people. Tinder and other apps don’t work. Idk even if I travel somewhere I’m alone

  • TurboHarbinger@feddit.clEnglish
    0·
    2 months ago

    ITT: Bunch of assholes telling you “have you tried to NOT having a cold” when your nose is clearly leaking.

    If you don’t understand how it feels to be lonely, any advice you give is awful and full of entitlement.

    • gamedeviancy@discuss.tchncs.deOPEnglish
      0·
      2 months ago

      It’s true that I know most most of advices from this thread. I’m also know that I should to use them, and I try but it’s hard IRL. Sometimes I just break up like today and every answer to me is like getting in contact with some human. Satisfy some social need idk

  • gibmiser@lemmy.worldEnglish
    0·
    2 months ago

    Join a club or organization or volunteer somewhere. It has to be in person and you have to go even if at first you aren’t comfortable.

    All the friends people make at school are happy accidents of proximity and chance. Same with coworker friends. You have to make some luck for yourself, put yourself in situations where you will regularly see the same people and get to know them through what you are doing.

    Also, don’t focus on romance, focus on friendship. Romance will come naturally - not forced.

    I know this does not come easy for most people in your situation. It feels stupid and awkward but chance and circumstances play a huge role in making friends.

  • JadenSmith@sh.itjust.worksEnglish
    0·
    2 months ago

    What helped me was realising there are many people are just as lonely as me. When I force myself to engage, in little ways (even as much as a hello), people seem to take it as an opportunity to speak and it’s quite nice.

    I told a quiet neighbour merry Christmas the other day, and he was more animated than I’d ever seen him.

    I’m not saying this will help you, though I hope it has some positive bearing as a consideration.

    • iamtrashman1312@lemmy.worldEnglish
      1·
      2 months ago

      I can answer since OP hasn’t, and it sounds like they’ll agree

      What I want from a friend, partner, whatever is someone who understands and shares my beliefs, values, and circumstances. That last one is, I’ve learned, actually pretty important.

      The friends I had in my 20s have changed, as have I since then. Most of them aren’t really my friends anymore, some for damn good reasons. The friends I still have, though I love them to death, do not live a life like mine and haven’t for several years now. Due to things outside of any one person’s control, our lives have started to look so dissimilar that it’s getting increasingly difficult for us to relate. I don’t know how much they see it, and I don’t know how to fix it. My friends are still people I am proud to call my friends and it seems like they feel the same for now, but that won’t bridge the growing gap forever