A couple of weeks ago I pulled out without looking, this is the second time this has happened since I have started driving, a car flipped and ever since than all I get is bad news, nothing has been good. My friends are more distant, I considered sucide a couple of days ago and my friends stopped me. I recently found out I am getting sued on top of everything. I just feel like I deserve bad things and my existance will be pain for as long as I keep walking this earth. I work a souless retail job, and my friends are tired of hearing me complain cause it’s easier than their jobs.
https://lemmy.world/pictrs/image/cd407ae9-2199-4fc7-8a79-0c634d04510d.jpeg
This seems apt.
So, bad things happen, absolutely. Sometimes, they go in a run. I’ve had some epically shitty times in my life, and it just seems like they pile on. But… Things also change. I had an absolute nightmare job for 19 years. My Dad died. I got sick. I got laid off. I went back to school. It sucked, so bad! But then, I got an internship. It was awesome! I made friends. The reduced stress let me kick my illness. Now, I’m almost done school, and I have a really good chance of getting full time work at that internship. We’ll see. The point is, things go in cycles. It’s so cliche, but it’s true that it’s always darkest before dawn. Hang in, find your joy. It’ll change.
I have been waiting 12 years nothing has ever gotten better short things lead to long term truama it seems
Nothing ever got better by simply waiting.
But it still might get better. How pissed would you be if you killed yourself, went to god or whatever and found out that if you just stuck it out a bit longer you would have turned the corner on this shit and finally figured out how to make life make sense and feel right.
It sounds like a joke, but I mean it seriously. How much suffering have you been through? Are you really going to let it mean nothing? How angry that has to make you feel, knowing that if you had just struggled a bit longer it could have meant something…
This is a line of thought I use myself. Not sure if it’s healthy or not, but here it is.