As an example, I love the Martian, and I think a lot of older books from authors like Asimov are heavily into engineering / competence porn. Other favs in this category include the standalone novel Rendezvous with Rama to leave you wishing for more, most of the Culture series for happy utopian vibes, Schlock Mercenary for humor, Dahak series for fun mindless popcorn.
Edit: I’m so happy to have found a replacement for r/books and the rest of them.
“Planetfall” by Emma Newman might fit your preferences judging by the things you said about books you’ve read! it’s a 4 book series (i think) and mostly deals with the inner psychology of the main character of each book. also has a bunch of engineering in it, mostly hard sci-fi!