When i first heard the news, it felt surreal. But when that passed, i felt nothing.
I don’t really know what to do or feel. I saw her only a few days ago, and that was the first time i have saw her in years. She barely talked, she had alzheimers. She didn’t remember anyone. I remember as a child, seeing her handicapped but still able to have conversation and conscious.
I only have a few memories of her. It’s so vague, since those were when i was 6 or something. The only clear memory is of her yelling at me as a child. Or maybe not her, my memory is unreliable.
Half an hour later, it sunk in. She’s dead. I will never see her again. Just… I don’t know. I’m so confused. I’m a little teary eyed but the rest is just static. What of it? What do i expect to gain from this post? I don’t know. I just wanted to tell someone. I just feel like shit.
Sorry for your loss. I’ve had a few close family die recently. Don’t think you have to understand it right now. You don’t need to seek out your grief, it’ll come up and bite your ass sometime. You’re not a bad person because you’re not in tears right now. It doesn’t make it better if you cry for the next six weeks. Carry the persons memory with you and take it out and look it over sometimes. It might make you cry, it might make you laugh, I think the important thing is it makes you remember.
Good luck!
Thank you. I don’t remember too much anymore, but i’ll try to keep it with me.