I remembered when I was a kid trying to learn to hold a pen “properly” (as everyone do) I couldn’t manage to do it and was holding it in my own way. Parents and teachers were trying to teach me how to hold it “properly” but it just didn’t work out, I sticked to the way it was comfortable to me. The common way of holding it wasn’t understandable to me and I just could not do it no matter how much I tried. Eventually adults gave up and let me be, except few more poor attempts from random teachers in school to re-teach me. I ended up with my own unique method of holding the pen and being asked from every person see my grip “why you are holding pen like that?”. My handwriting wasn’t very good, in school classes I would get lower grades because of it. Later as a teenager when I was “randomly” (you know) interested in calligraphy I have mastered my handwriting to a level none of those adults could ever imagine I would do, but still using the same grip I learned as a child and until now. Now when realizing myself autistic after 20+ years I thought, was my inability to learn to hold a pen in common way (as taught) a clear sign of being autistic? What is your experience with learning to hold a pen?
Occupational therapist here. About 80% of people use a tripod (which is considered the “right” way to hold a pencil) or quadropod grasp. A tripod fingertip grasp is technically the “best” because it makes the most efficient use of the musculature of the hand. When you hold a pencil with the tips of your first two fingers opposite the tip of your thumb, this uses the smallest and fewest muscles to control the movement of the pencil. The closer the pencil moves to the base of your fingers, the more and larger muscles you will need to use to move it around, which leads to fatigue and, sometimes, pain with extended writing.
There’s the technical side. Now for the functional reality.
First, 20% of people DON’T use a tripod grasp, and this is not a sign of neurological differences. It’s true there is a correlation between autism and difficulty with motor planning, but one does not equal the other.
Second, since our society does not actually require extensive handwritten text anymore, this skill is just not as vital as it once was. Lots of (especially older) teachers and OT colleagues may disagree with me, but occupational therapists are supposed to focus on a person’s ability to functionally participate in work, play, and self-care, not attempt to make them do things “the right way.”
Third, if your pencil grasp IS causing you pain or excess fatigue because of the demands of your job, school, or hobbies, occupational therapy can help. We do this by teaching a different pencil grasp (which OP has tried) or modifying the task (different types of writing tools/pencil grips, positioning the paper on a slanted surface, typing, or even voice-to-text).
This was some informal “research” I did with my family a friends a few years ago. It seems to be consistent with the published research I’ve found about pencil grasp variation.
I know all of these people, some of them have autism or other neurological differences, and there was no correlation between pencil grasps and neurological differences.
cool! That’s good to know