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🍹Early to RISA 🧉@sh.itjust.worksM to Greentext@sh.itjust.works · 3 days ago

Anon is a fighter

sh.itjust.works

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Anon is a fighter

sh.itjust.works

🍹Early to RISA 🧉@sh.itjust.worksM to Greentext@sh.itjust.works · 3 days ago
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  • FooBarrington@lemmy.world
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    3 days ago

    Wait, you think you couldn’t beat a giraffe?

    • RvTV95XBeo@sh.itjust.works
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      3 days ago

      One punch from my scrawny nerd warrior arms and that fucker would shrug then donkey kick me half way across the fucking Serengeti.

      • FooBarrington@lemmy.world
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        3 days ago

        No, you’re approaching this the wrong way. You run towards it at full speed, then get a 45° angle and jump. While doing so, you grab their neck like a pole, and use the force to hoist yourself upon their back.

        You either already killed them with this move, or you’re now on their back and holding their throat. There’s nothing a giraffe can do to throw you down or attack you now. You can just choke, and choke, and keep choking it until it falls to its knees.

        • RvTV95XBeo@sh.itjust.works
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          3 days ago

          You lost me at “run”. Can I bring my inhaler or does that count as a tool?

          • FooBarrington@lemmy.world
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            3 days ago

            Oh, you’re American? I guess you could drive your scooter up specifically designed ramp to reach their back. Though I feel most animals wouldn’t stand a chance against you guys on their back.

        • MonkderVierte@lemmy.ml
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          2 days ago

          Their neck starts at 3 meter height tho.

          • FooBarrington@lemmy.world
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            2 days ago

            Not the necks of teenage giraffes!

        • itslilith@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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          3 days ago

          It can roll over. Do you like your legs? Besides, unless you’re a lion, good luck jumping up there. And even then, you’re not choking a giraffe out. Their neck is basically only muscle.

          • FooBarrington@lemmy.world
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            3 days ago

            Am I stupid, or did I miss the “rolling over”? I just saw the giraffe lady down while saying “choke me harder daddy”

            • itslilith@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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              3 days ago

              Are you a 150kg murder machine with claws that can high jump several times it’s size? Even then, the lion got thrown off not once, but twice. Thinking you could fight a giraffe and win is dellusional

              • somethingsnappy@lemmy.world
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                2 days ago

                Lions cannot jump several times their height. They can leap forward several times their height and length. Not straight up. https://images.app.goo.gl/NhdZC

                • FooBarrington@lemmy.world
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                  2 days ago

              • FooBarrington@lemmy.world
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                3 days ago

                No, I lost some weight, so not quite. What lions have in claw strength, I however have in elbow strength!

            • Whats_your_reasoning@lemmy.world
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              2 days ago

              I just saw the giraffe lady

              Aww, I must have missed her.

              • FooBarrington@lemmy.world
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                2 days ago

                That’s a typo I’ll gladly keep!

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