My main problem always was energy. Not wanting to go out, not wanting to work, sometimes literally not wanting to do anything. I still had motivation and ambitions though. The feeling of being unable to do what I really wanted, to live up to who my idea of who I wanted to be, made me feel like wasting all my potential.

The medicine gives me that extra kick in the butt energy wise and also lowers the barrier of “just doing it”. It makes everything you do just a little bit more rewarding, so that now my hobbies even have a chance to compete against the dopamine of video games and fast food.

All in all, now I feel like I actually use my potential. When I don’t do something I wanted to, mostly now it’s because of time, not energy. Also it really helped me in social situations by closing that sensory filter a bit, giving me some more runtime before I get exhausted.

What I don’t like: If I couldn’t live the life I wanted before the medicine, and now I can, what happens if I don’t take the medicine anymore? If it works as it’s supposed to, you build your life on top of that effect, so being dependent on it is kinda built in. I’ve already experienced times where the medicine wasn’t as effective, and suddenly my daily life seemed not stimulating enough anymore compared to my old habits.

I accept this trade off though, since it’s the first thing that ever let me live my life like I actually wanted to.