There’s probably a better community for asking this, but I haven’t been able to find that one either.
What I’m looking for is a place to discuss ideas that encourages good-faith conversation, staying on topic, and being decent to one another - while actively discouraging mean-spirited, facetious, or bad-faith responses that focus on criticizing the person asking the question rather than engaging with the substance of it. And by “discouraging,” I mean active moderation with very low tolerance for that kind of commentary.
This is for sure part of it. Remember that most of us fled here from reddit, and many made a clean break. For me, that includes avoiding political discussion communities. I actively moderated two conservative political communities for years (r/AskConservatives and r/Tuesday) and also r/As an American, where political discussions often came up. I’m just exhausted by it. I’ve seen every bad argument under the sun from and towards every major political position.
When I spooled down reddit, resigned my modship in r/AskConservatives, and came to lemmy, I resolved to a) never mod a discussion community again and 2] never sub a political discussion community. And my life became so much better! I still engage with politics IRL, with real people in my community, but have zero interest in seeking out the same here.
So yes, if you want to discuss certain topics here you’ve got an uphill slog. And if you don’t want to be treated like a bad-faith actor you’ve got to put in the work to build a reputation as a good-faith one. There’s no shortcut for that; users recognize each other here.
I not only block political communities here, but I also filter out every post containing terms related to current political events or specific political figures. While I might touch on topics that are political by nature - like the Israel-Palestine conflict - I rarely engage directly with politics in a broad sense.
For example, yesterday I tried making a post about the concept of “sigma males,” where I even preemptively acknowledged my doubts about its scientific validity and criticized how it tends to frame even negative traits in a positive light. Yet all the responses I received were ridicule, personal attacks, and accusations. Apparently, I overlooked the fact that the term “sigma male” acts like a lightning rod for a certain kind of person - people who completely disregard the actual question and just start spewing hatred and negativity.
I’d really just like a place where I can indulge in my cold and analytical, autistic topics of interest with other like-minded people. I don’t even mind disagreement - on the contrary, I enjoy it, as long as it’s done in good faith.
Have you entertained the notion that the term “sigma male” is also a lightning rod for people who have specific ideas about masculinity and, by extension, its relationship to women?
What I am getting from your incredibly vague post is that the topics you are interested in have connotations that would imply to others that your interest isn’t entirely academic, and so they become wary of your motives/beliefs.
Let me frame it more hyperbolically: having an autistic special interest in Nazi memorabilia raises a lot of questions to other people about whether you are interested in more than just the memorabilia.
What I want to talk about isn’t the point of this thread - it’s about how I want to talk about it. Basic decency toward one another shouldn’t be an unreasonable thing to ask. I’m more than happy to discuss my underlying motives, but I want to do so in a civilized manner. These mental acrobatics - where, because I’ve said some “magic word,” I must now, with high probability, be a certain type of person - are absolutely ridiculous.
Well, the reason people are being weird to you about this is because you’re being vague on purpose and they don’t want to be someone who helped foster a community that discusses how pedophilia and CP should be legal and black people are subhuman.
Basically every debate forum will turn into that if you don’t monitor things and make sure there are clear ground rules enforced by competent moderators. If you are being genuine, you will have to be prepared for bad faith actors, actual pedophiles, abuse apologists, racists and ethnonationalists, and the resulting mixed opinions of the community and not get upset like you are doing all over this thread.
If the community that you want doesn’t exist, then to solve that problem you’d either have to make one and mod it properly, or find people IRL.