I’ll disagree with your take on masking. What you’re describing is social skill.
Masking as a term is used when the necessity of those erodes your sense of self, self determination, affects your relationships and/or ability to function in other areas of life.
For divergent people, who by definition aren’t normatively interacting, the need to keep up a facade is greater. Already to maintain relations with their allistic peers, but also because being divergent puts the onus of adapting on you in all other situations as well. Suddenly it’s not just that you have to play a persona for your friends, you also have to carefully monitor their every behaviour to know if they respond correctly, plan your next set of interactions for the correct response (beyond showing particular interest), and at the same time uphold the right amount of spontaneity and engagement.
Allistic people do this as well, but in ways that are natural to them. Perhaps you can imagine that divergent people have to breathe manually, all the time.
May I suggest finding other divergent people to hang with?
ASD people allegedly have similar social patterns and can communicate more naturally with each other (after breaking through masking habits). But even beyond that neurospicy folks share experiences and perspectives that hopefully lead to camaraderie, understanding and supportive interactions.
When my partner started doing this the friend group quickly started bringing stim toys and made low sensory times and/or areas for their interactions. Dinner parties have a quiet room. Hanging out can be parallel play. Headphones are norm. Etc.