I was in the same boat.

Spent all day cooking and listening to podcasts/music. Invited a friend over for dinner like usual and she said she couldn’t come until it was late and well past dark, which was very unusual. Then she told me she was at a Superbowl party and that was how I found out what was going on.

Only way things could have been better is if I had D&D with the food.

I was in a similar spot as a manager for years. You can’t fix everything but you can improve the conditions for your workers and in my experience, this also was the key to making our store the top in our entire state. They will not always ingratiate you with the higher-ups, but if metrics improve, they will notice and at the bare minimum tolerate you.

A few good things you can do:

• Write glowing recommendations and beg for raises every year. Also make a point to do mentorship to help each worker build their career and skills in the ways they want. You don’t always have to put all of this in a review, but if it looks good and they make progress, do it.

• Spend that team building budget every month. Tell your team what it is and ask for their feedback on how they want to use it.

• Ask for input from your team and listen to what they have to say. Be transparent about what is going on, what your goals are, and what limitations you have, then try to find a way to find a place of compromise between those limitations and the feedback your team gives. Again, be open about this and ask what they think of any compromises. They’ll often have a better idea of what will work to improve conditions more than you will, particularly if you are open with them about goals and limitations.

• If it’s reasonable and safe for you to do so, encourage them to organize themselves into a union. You probably cannot join this, but you don’t need to tell your bosses they are organizing until they have done it. You can act as a screen to their efforts until they have the power to demand recognition.

And your body is the “collateral damage” in that war.

I think it’s just missing a bit of specificity.

Building more bike lanes will reduce traffic. Building more bus lanes will reduce traffic. Building more tram lines will reduce traffic. Building more car lanes will reduce induce traffic.

Not perfect, but solid logic within reason (Building 100 more bus lanes will reduce traffic).

Maybe for those who wish to support bombing foreigners while funnelling the military industry into their state.

Motherfucker parades around like he’s antiwar because he voted “nay” on a single ballot initiative that was already a shoo-in and inconsequential for him to vote against. Literally a couple months later, he voted to further the funding for those military actions.

Bernie has had blood on his hands for 30-40 years now and continues to try to wash it off with more blood.

Someone who pretends to support the poor at home while simultaneously supporting bombing and invading the poor elsewhere sure is a role model, just not a good one.

I’ve seen those orange ones, but was never much of a fan. The demonstrators are beautiful though. There’s nothing quite like seeing a beautiful ink sloshing around inside.

Sometimes it’s much more fun when you just don’t interact and they seeth from the lack of attention. Can’t be you against the world when the world walks away.

I slept on the kaweco sport, but when I finally got one, it quickly became my everyday. I got a transparent body and fill the body directly with ink like an oil tanker ready to defile the ocean within my pocket, then lube the threads with petroleum jelly. Not a single leak.

Iconic style, affordable, ink lasts forever, one of the most reliable, smoothest gold bibs came with it, and it’s comfortable to write with. I love that pen and wish I had as many chances to use it these days as I did in the past. Unfortunately, my writing at work is almost entirely digital now.

What the fuck, that had to be a trip! Either watch order would suck: ruin your mood before Totoro or get blindsided by the second feature.

It happens constantly in the US too.

They teach us about roundabouts in driver’s education or at least the written tests to get a license. Most of us just shouldn’t be allowed to drive without additional training at this point. Laws are suggestions and when the car can’t go straight and fast without inhibition, it breaks our brains.

a huge fucking war next door, hybrid attacks and a noticeable uptick in espionage.

Thanks, Democrats!

And today we were reminded that it’s actually happening - our most important ally is now led by a maniac.

…our most important ally is now has always been led by maniacs.

We’re trading one ghoul for another. Even if you think it will get worse and don’t think the Dems will deserve credit for what happens alongside the Republicans, never forget that it was the Democrats who made this possible. They could stop these things, but they don’t. They don’t even throw themselves in front of it as a speed bump.

Helping her develop coping skills. These cannot come from you, but from her. You just help maintain and adjust home life to them. They can look like…problem: never being able to find what she is looking for. Solution: things get one place they are allowed to go and that is where it lives (eg: shoes by the door, pencil/pen in a drawer or bucket, keys on a keyring by the door, tools in a toolbox). Hell, I’ve found my keys in the fridge before. I can’t tell you how much it drives me nuts not being able to find my tools and then my kids used them and left them in their rooms.

Sometimes these coping mechanisms are socially-based. Sitting down at the same time in a designated spot everyday to do homework with someone else until it’s done (enough for the day). That used to be me for my kids, now it’s a friend who is also ADHD whom they worked out a method that works for both of them. Some of the things seem silly, but matter greatly, like the environment that something is done in being very important in helping guide that focus. Again, let her guide that, because it varies by person. She may want something on in the background like music or a show. Let that happen, but it shouldn’t be a visual distraction or need any sort of constant maintenance to continue (eg: a playlist, not being able to see the screen, but can hear a familiar show playing, not one that she hasn’t seen before). Ask her and let her guide it, but help ensure that the visual stimulus or the need to keep queuing up a new song isn’t there.

Elementary and maybe even middle school tends to be easier for ADHD kids, then they hit a wall in middle/high school when the class structure changes. Meet with the school counselor and (US specific) set up a 504 plan asap (accomodations outside school policy). This can be the ability to take breaks, listen to music in class, being able to take a test in a different environment (such as without other kids in a library or office), have more time for test-taking. This is something she will also need to decide.

You may be hesitant about stimulants and other ADHD meds, but for many ADHD people, they are life-changing. It feels like getting your life back after it was taken away, so they are worth exploring. They aren’t all limited to stimulants and can be safer for younger children such as guanfacine/intuniv. Even with stimulants such as methylphenidate derivatives, these meds can help regulate many things other than just “attention”. They can help with maintaining sleep schedules and often are found to be more effective at regulating mood than typical depression meds like SSRIs.

The struggles to fit into a world not built for ADHD people can be a major contributor to depression. It makes me think of myself and others as addicts searching for their next fix of dopamine at times. If you don’t help regulate this, she WILL develop other methods to do this: alternative stimulants such as caffeine and nicotine or escape methods such as social media, video games, tv, fiction stories. When she hits middle school, you’ve lost the battle and she will have access to these things through other kids. It’s part of why you see some ADHD people turn to cigarettes/vapes or drinking caffeine from the beginning of the day until they go to bed. These low levels of stimulants help them regulate everything going on in their head and function in a world not built to accommodate them. When we can’t do that, many of us turn to methods to escape reality or get small rewards-based dopamine fixes. You will not be able to eliminate all of these alternatives that can become pitfalls and unhealthy, but you can help her get meds that fill the same need so those other things don’t become actual problems and can be consumed in a healthy way.

There is little you can probably say to help her besides just listening to her, maybe show her this post to start? There is a lot you can do to hurt her and her image of herself that will seem innocuous to you or might be said in frustration. I suggest reading through what others have said about what they are told. The most recent thing for me was having a boss say he believed ADHD was over diagnosed and overhyped these days when I was trying to let him know I was ADHD and how he could use that to the benefit of both of us. This was coming from someone with a child on the autism spectrum, so not something I expected. My mother unintentionally hurt me by trying to encourage me when I was young, saying that I could do and accomplish anything I wanted. This was kind, but when reality hits and I struggle to do seemingly simple things or live up to her great expectations that were not real and only built up in my mind through my youth, it leaves me with a deep sense of shame.

The best thing you can do is listen to her and let her know you accept her for who she is and what she chooses to do with her life and that you will love her regardless of anything she does or does not accomplish in life. Let her know that your love is not tied to her worth as society (school, work, movies, fiction) defines it and that those societal expectations are not realistic to human existence. When she comes to you to show-off something she is proud of her work on, let her know you are proud of her for that work too.

It’s doing something for someone else vs doing it for you. For some people, it can serve as a “hack” to engage the hyperfocus.

Aside from stimulants and therapy, learning to live with ADHD is about developing seemingly abnormal coping skills to overcome the barriers it presents. Looks weird from the outside, but it makes total sense to that person because they know it engages something within them that won’t engage under normal circumstances.

It sucks to use and I hate it, but if someone starts doing the thing I’ve been struggling to do, that can engage my ability to do it because I’m doing it so they don’t have to…such as cleaning up one of my messes. Maybe you can use this too?

He’s a billionaire, I’m sure he could hire a couple people to help.

Every wall I’ve seen from you has been very informative. Sometimes additional context is needed for a complex topic/point to make sense and as concise as you may try to be, the question deserves a longer answer. Besides walls of text are a meme at this point and we must stick with tradition!

Confirmed, Cowbee is an AI but with good takes!

Fr though, are you really a leftist if you don’t respond with a wall of text occasionally?

Seconded on Smart Tube TV. Frankly, it works better than ublock on Firefox most days as YT doesn’t go out of its way to slow it down.

There are good filtering systems you can get to add to your sink or water supply. At most you’re looking at a couple hundred for something that will last years. The water in plastic bottles is not immune to leeching things from the bottles as well, but I guess it’s a matter of weighing which you prefer.

I had a similar thing happen with an ex when we were dating as teenagers. She had one of her friends call and leave a voicemail pretending to be a nurse telling me my SO had died as the result of an accident while visiting friends in another town. They left me believing this for days.

These types of people are best to cut from your life and avoid at all costs. This is only the beginning of their torturous acts.

I imagine it would be similar to the authoritarian practice of forcing teenagers to attend school: it really depends upon how it is organized and executed with additional variations in response based upon the individual.