Conventional therapy wasn’t working for me either. Most of them just let you free talk, but what I really needed was information–useful information, not just a list of disorders with discombobulated symptoms. I started getting into bibliotherapy with The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk. It’s a good place to start even though it’s written a bit clinically. Other good ones are The Myth of Normal by Gabor Mate, and Children of Emotionally Immature Parents by Lindsay Gibson.
The books gave me things I didn’t know I needed: examples of healthy and unhealthy behaviors and relationships, examples of healthy boundaries and how to make them, and types of trauma or neglect that may have happened in childhood. I also learned about the four F responses (freeze, flight, fight, and fawn) which helped me to interpret my own confusing emotions and behaviors in a new light.
It sounds like maybe the first step is to cut yourself some slack for being stuck. Most of us don’t choose to go into the hole, we just find ourselves there. It’s ok. With the right tools, you can get yourself out.
Conventional therapy wasn’t working for me either. Most of them just let you free talk, but what I really needed was information–useful information, not just a list of disorders with discombobulated symptoms. I started getting into bibliotherapy with The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk. It’s a good place to start even though it’s written a bit clinically. Other good ones are The Myth of Normal by Gabor Mate, and Children of Emotionally Immature Parents by Lindsay Gibson.
The books gave me things I didn’t know I needed: examples of healthy and unhealthy behaviors and relationships, examples of healthy boundaries and how to make them, and types of trauma or neglect that may have happened in childhood. I also learned about the four F responses (freeze, flight, fight, and fawn) which helped me to interpret my own confusing emotions and behaviors in a new light.
It sounds like maybe the first step is to cut yourself some slack for being stuck. Most of us don’t choose to go into the hole, we just find ourselves there. It’s ok. With the right tools, you can get yourself out.