Yeah. It’s unreasonable I guess to expect everyone to treat their phone as a malicious little device that’s actively trying on behalf of multiple bad actors to gather as much information about them as it can and sell it to some of the worst people in the world. It’s fair for them to expect it to just be a phone. I guess I’m just looking at it the way I look at my phone.

Who in the world is obediently posting selfies of themselves from the front and from the side to some random app that asks them to do it? I stopped doing that stuff around the time I deleted my Facebook account. Why would you do that to yourself?

I think that’s the crux of the matter. I’m pretty confident that the person with the nick “dragonfucker” who identifies as a dragon and wants to use “drag” as their pronouns and also causes all kinds of other drama, is using joke pronouns. My reaction to it is pretty much the same as your reaction to the “thatsaspicymeatball” pronoun. You’re welcome to your opinion and to treat them any way you want to, but nothing I am saying would translate in any way to someone who wasn’t an internet stranger with about 10 different red flags that they were trolling.

If I’m truly violating db0’s community standards, then I would like to know. And looking at the (A)CoC, I don’t think I am.

Yes, but PugJesus truly didn’t think he was violating the community standards. He’s been explaining himself here, and getting treated like “the enemy” mostly because he’s trying to protect your community against someone he thinks is just trolling you and trying to hold you up to ridicule.

My point with this part was that there are communities that start jumping on the banhammer as soon as some reading of the community rules could define a person as the enemy, and that feels very different from the getting-banned side than it does from the banning-the-enemies side. You can probably imagine how it would feel if you got instance banned for the conversation we’ve had so far.

Making a “pronoun” that is a nickname makes it not a pronoun, grammatically. Also, this person isn’t actually a dragon, and them insisting that they are turns it into something very different from a person who wants to be referred to as a different gender or intersex or however they express themselves.

You could say that those are irrelevant issues, and the issue of length is a critical one, of course. Like you said I think our opinions are just different about it.

In the code of conduct is:

Voluntary interaction, especially when it includes:

• Inclusive language and behavior,
• Welcoming attitude and approach,
• Rational debate and discussion,
• Genuine exchanges of ideas,

What is Unacceptable

• Authoritarianism, or the spread of behavior that is designed to overturn the standards described so far

You could say that’s misleadingly trimmed. I was mainly just trying to make a point: Just because something is according to the written rules doesn’t make it right. Also, you’re currently coming into a space and violating its community standards, and no one is banning you, nor should they, I think. That is one way you can wind up talking with people even if at the outset they may not agree with you on everything.

If you said your pronouns were 19 characters long, then one would argue that it is no longer functioning as a pronoun.

You don’t get to decide what identities / pronouns are valid or which rules apply to you because you think you made a good point.

See how that works?

My point was that they’re exercising judgement already, as you would to my requested pronouns, because of course they are. Everyone who’s doing moderation has to exercise judgement.

It isn’t censorship if you get your post / comment removed or banned for breaking a rule.

Sure it is.

By my reading of the db0 terms of service, you’ve broken them here, because you are advocating for systems of authoritarian control and against the open discussion of ideas. Would you support banning your user from db0 so we can’t have this conversation? Is that censorship?

I don’t think you should get banned, of course. Because you’re clearly talking in good faith, and I like being able to talk with people, even when I disagree with them. I just would have a wish that the network as a whole generally works like that.

You don’t get to decide what identities / pronouns are valid

But the blahaj admins do! If I showed up and said my pronouns were “thatsaspicymeatball,” they would decide that wasn’t valid. They would not ban people for not using that as my pronouns, or for discussing the issue. They’ve just decided to make their judgement call in one particular place instead of another. That’s fine, of course, but then mechanically enforcing that everyone has to act in exact accordance with where they drew the line, even though there’s room for reasonable disagreement, is what will get people talking about you on PTB.

The reality of human life is that people look at things differently sometimes. I get wanting to protect your space against ignorance or people who will make someone feel unwelcome. But this is taking it to an extreme, forcing everyone to look at things in exactly the same chosen way, which is tearing down the thing you’re trying to accomplish, I think.

I care about issues of censorship and trolling, and the social contract on the network, that’s the only reason I am in this discussion. I think the whole “call me drag” thing is not worth that much attention, yes, but banning a bunch of people for saying dragons aren’t real sort of drew my attention to it.

I don’t know. It is your instance. You can do what you like with it, but keep in mind that not everyone who is obeying the rules to the letter is your friend.

People get to be (more or less seriously) humanoid animals, fantasy creatures and races, and if you can’t get along with that, you can expect to get thrown out of a space that explicitly welcome anyone regardless of their identity or pronouns.

If I were a transgender person, I would not go within ten miles of a community that was applying the same rules to fantasy creature role playing as it was to my gender pronouns. The normie world doesn’t need to have any assistance in seeing the whole thing as made up, equivalent to wanting to be called a dolphin or a mermaid, and confusing those two very, very different concepts, or treating them as deserving of precisely the same treatment and rules, sounds very wrong to me.