“Si miras fijamente al pudú, el pudú te devuelve la mirada.”

  • 6 Posts
  • 136 Comments
Joined 2 years ago
Cake day: June 12th, 2023
  • Pudutr0ñ@feddit.cltoMemes@lemmy.ml•It's Women's Fault
    1·
    13 days ago

    No, they are biologically real, despite it being obsolete nomenclature iirc. Alpha doesn’t equate to “good” though. Just dominance.They exist in most if not all tournament species, but not so much in pair bonding apecies.

    You can determine what category species fall under just by looking at average size differences of male and female skulls/other bone.

    This provides a ton of information about mating habits, intersexual aggression, likelyhood of infidelity, role of males in raising kids and whole lot more.

    Humans are in am evolutionary transition period from tournament to pair bonding.

    All that being said, the traits selected to determine alphas can be about aggression and dominance and they can be about beauty, collaboration and territorial. Thia gets complex in birds and primates.

    Alao, whatever strategy has the best chances of successfully reproducing and surviving through time does not automagically become legitimate, valuable or desireable. You need an extra ingredient for that. Priorities, which require value.

  • Pudutr0ñ@feddit.cltoMemes@lemmy.ml•It's Women's Fault
    2·
    14 days ago

    I am of the belief that masculinity and femininity are social constructs, but that they are also not only social constructs and nothing else.

    There’s a lot of interesting work around this in studies/interpretations around Jungian archetypes. Structure, courage, strength, independence, rationality, leadership and assertiveness are virtues/traits that are generally (but not exclusively) associated to masculinity. Charm, empathy, collaboration, compassion, humility, intuition, sensitivity, beauty, style and introspection are typically associated to the feminine (but not exclusively).

    In essence, i read somewhere (i think an old Tarot book iirc), that which is masculine imposes and confronts, while that which is feminine contains and nurtures. Seemed to make sense, to me anyway.

    edit: A quick clarification is that these are typically, at least under the Jungian and broad oriental notions, not considered mutually excluding opposites, just polarizing forces. Like broad, vague and intersecting maps of associations. The Ying Yang symbol illustrates this well. Each side has a part of the other side within itself, and each one needs the other in order to exist.

  • Pudutr0ñ@feddit.cltoMemes@lemmy.ml•It's Women's Fault
    7·
    14 days ago

    I’m really sorry about what you has to deal with in your past. <3

    I’m about 1/6th through the book now and feel the same way.

    I mean, if i’m being perfectly honest, i feel like the term “patriarchy” is a little unfair but also I get why it would be chosen and a necessary concept to build from. I guess I feel like no one sex or gender built society on their own and the suggestion of attribution by nomenclature feels like a misleading simplification. This is not something that i’ll lose sleep over, though, and i’m open to hearing out why i’m wrong.

    Gonna get back to the book now. It really is a compassionate message. Thanks again.

  • Pudutr0ñ@feddit.cltoMemes@lemmy.ml•It's Women's Fault
    16·
    15 days ago

    I appreciate you taking the time to suggest steps for a better society. I followed the link and read what was available, but there were only a few pages until the index + the front and back cover. I’ll probably look into finding a full copy later. Thanks for thinking about us. <3

    I'd like to share my personal story if that's ok. Wall of text incoming and only read if you genuinely want to.

    I want to share this because I have an honest question from a place of wanting to be a better person. I realize this isn’t about me, but in order for me to be in service of people other than myself, it is necessary for me to understand some things. I’m respectfully requesting help with that, to you or those willing to educate.

    The second part of the meme hits really close to home to me because it’s something lots of men are taught at a young age in a traumatic manner. In my case I can’t count the amount of times I was told to “be a man” or asked if I was “gonna cry like a girl” which could happen literally anywhere by anyone, especially caretakers.

    I went to an all boys school. I vividly remember the father of one of my classmates coming to talk to the class when my classmate missed school one day. He begged. Literally, begged to the class to stop teasing and bullying his son because he was going to kill himself any day. This was the 8th grade and was not a one time thing. He was a sensitive kid and got teased for it. He got called the f word a lot in a place and time where coming out of the closet as sexually diverse was considered “valid” grounds for physical violence/abuse by most men. Verbal abuse at the very least.

    I was a weird and sensitive kid myself and got teased and bullied as well, but never that much. Was really timid, awkward and shy, but I usually got away with not being beaten up all the time or being straight out emotionally tortured all day like some were, by letting other kids cheat off me. This got me “protection” from some bullies that sat next to me. When I think about how I felt back when I was a kid, all I can remember is fear and wanting to be invisible. Constant fear. I had a whole lot of anger too, but usually lashed out on myself alone. Too scared of everything and everyone to get angry at anyone but myself. My family setting wasn’t a picnic either, but that’s a different story.

    Basically, any time anyone gave me any kind of attention, including my parents, I perceived it as a dangerous threatening situation that made me feel uneasy.

    I realize most people have been wronged by one or more men in much worse ways. I’m sorry and those of us who have harmed or still harm have no excuse. I shared my story so you understood what became my responsibility and duty to unlearn and remedy to not continue the endless samsara of victimization. I genuinely have been putting in the work I’ve found useful to help me stop causing people harm. Have taken this very seriously for more than decade now.

    Here’s my question, in honest good faith.

    Do you understand that a book that is intended to be used as a blueprint for positive masculinity that begins by requiring men to “understand patriarchy” can feel, to some men, like when catholic missionaries went to “uncivilized cultures” and made sure everyone “understood the gospel” and was very clear about having original sin and being impure and them needing to be saved?

    This is not a rhetoric device I want to use against you or anyone. I am requesting empathy and suggestions on how to deal with this. Like, do you understand that it feels like some people are telling us men that we are devoid of value or have no legitimacy as humans unless we adhere to a specific belief system or “treatment”? Do you have any advice or suggestions for us or idk can you offer insight?

    I realize many broken people such as myself and my classmates can become full grown monsters and society should do something that avoids monsters being bred and to treat, lock or remove people that have become monsters.

    I just want to know if you understand this, and if you do, my request is you please share your thoughts.

  • Pudutr0ñ@feddit.cltoMemes@lemmy.ml•It's Women's Fault
    5·
    15 days ago

    Woah, woah, woah… Easy there Casabonita.

    When you say “look after”, like every how many weeks are you suggesting we brush our teeth? i don’t want to spend half my budget on toothpaste. My cryptos aren’t doing great.

    But when you say “show respect” I get it but like how much time do I have to wait until i can stare at their cleavage? Or like… idk what’s the code word I have to use so they feel respected and provide me with cleavage staring time? I guess what I’m trying to ask is… regarding this hypothetical “person” I “respect”, what are the exact verbal and nonverbal steps I must follow in order for them to immediately perform my fantasies but me not provide anything that requires any kind of emotional, physical, financial or creative effort at any given point and how do I make them think I am willing or able to conceptualize them as “real people”?

    If you could just link me the cheat sheet you use that would actually help a lot. ty

  • Pudutr0ñ@feddit.cltoMemes@lemmy.ml•It's Women's Fault
    4·
    15 days ago

    Appreciate the support! <3

    I mean everyone gets allergic from time to time but a thoughtful person will see this and adjust.

    I guess It’s hard for people to feel empathy towards those who they identify as the culprits of their suffering. And since, as humans, we have trouble separating the blame of individuals with the blame of the tribes they belong to… yeah, some people consider men the problem with an occasional “but not you/him” just like some other people consider feminism/sts the problem with an occasional “but not this part/these ones”.

    I think hit the nail on the head, though. It’s important for all of us to remind ourselves compassion and empathy regularly, even when difficult, because as many gender theorists and feminists have taught us, some people don’t adhere to social norm or convention. Understanding this is understanding that blaming a full demographic for anything is not only unfair and lazy, it also leads to the very worst in all of us.

    Have a great day and stay awesome!