I worked at an MSP for years and had clients who would send it back and forth that way to each other. The most common were medical practices, but banking wasn’t far behind.

Fax was considered secure because you could lock up the fax machine physically.

My favorite setup was a medical practice that dealt with stomach issues, including colon cancer, and their neighbor in the same building who was a pathology lab. They both had the PDF to fax and fax to PDF servers set up to send back and forth when someone could just walk 50 feet and hand over paperwork.

I was never undiagnosed, but otherwise I know exactly how you feel. Other than saying see a medical professional if possible I don’t have advice because what worked for me may not work for you, but I can offer some words of encouragement.

You’re not alone. I remember being there. There are lists (that are way too fucking long for people with executive function disorders for some reason) of coping strategies everywhere, so maybe switch it up and get some novelty. If possible get in therapy before the depression. It’s fucking hard but you can make it. I believe in you.

You’re getting the big info dump. It’s not everything, but it’s a lot because this whole topic makes me feel some kind of way. This is your warning.

TL;DR: I don’t feel night and day different but my life is night and day different.

For me going on Adderall for the first time took a week or two to adjust to. I was self medicating on a crazy amount of caffeine at the time and had to taper off to a more normal amount. After that it’s like my brain got quiet. Not empty, but not the thousand competing thoughts dragging me in different directions. I already had coping mechanisms so it’s not like I did that much better. Things got easier. Even my depression subsided because I was just able to get shit done without absolutely exhausting myself and missing out on so much because I didn’t have anything left over in the tank after all the things I had to do.

Suddenly I had energy for some hobbies. I could finish writing and play music. I could learn woodworking. I could learn more than basic motorcycle maintenance. I could learn things that furthered my career. These were all things I had a basic working knowledge of or had started and given up over and over again. I published an album. I wrote for two industry publications that got a pretty wide release. I built things.

Then I went off it. I wrote awesome music that I never finished. I couldn’t build anymore, I didn’t have the focus. I started a hundred projects and despaired that I couldn’t finish shit unless my paycheck counted on it. I didn’t go back to caffeine.

Then I got on Vyvanse. I did all the cool shit I was doing before and finished my projects again. I learned how to be a DJ and how to run sound for live music. I went out and either played or DJed or KDJed 5 nights a week.

Then came the pandemic and the shortages. They’d have one medication and not the other. They’d have the wrong dose. They’d be out. So I gave up and focused on my job. I started playing video games again, which is a nice hobby because I never felt like I was fucking up by not finishing a game. I started riding my motorcycle more and found that when my attention was on not getting run over by cars my mind got quiet again. So I got a bagger as a second motorcycle and started taking longer trips. I spent time in the woods. If I was occupied trying to fish to be able to eat I could concentrate. And I worked with my therapist on more depression coping mechanisms. I forced showers if it had been longer than two days because that was always the onset of not getting out of bed. I lived and died by my notepad because my memory went to hell.

Now I’m back on Adderall XR. I just made an album worth of rock beats for a buddy because he’s recording his own album based on his own demons (he needs it too, but he’s not in a place…I know you’re reading this and I see you, friend…check our shared server storage, all of them are out there). I bought a third motorcycle last month that I’m going to fix up as a project and sell. Except what should have been six months with a dead motorcycle is almost done. I’m playing shows again. I’m running sound for a well known rock band next weekend, filling in for someone who is going on vacation.

It’s not immediately night and day for me, but I feel happier, less stressed, and quieter. So I’m able to actually do the hundred things I started ages ago. No one is waiting on me. I’m so far ahead at work that I’m not going to be doing anything but attending meetings for the next two weeks. I am accomplishing more than I could ever dream without medication.

And on the weekends it’s fun to let the chaos out. I don’t want it quiet in my brain all the time. I get creative, I try dumb shit, I drink an unhealthy amount, and I’ll come up with another bunch of things I want to try. Then I’ll get medicated and try them.

I took today off because I had a crazy weekend that I spent medicated and doing things and have no work. So I’m unmedicated today. You’re getting a big ol’ helping of unmedicated TexasDrunk. I over explained and probably did a shit job but it made me happy, so thanks for the opportunity!

I like different mes on different days. Work days I prefer medicated. Weekend days where I have a lot of activities I want to do, I prefer medicated. Any non-work day where my plans are “be in the woods”, “start drinking at noon”, or “ride the motorcycle for hours” demand an unmedicated me for maximum chaos (or absolutely nothing…I never know until it happens).

I wasn’t on medication until I was a whole ass adult. Even then I was on and off it for a while. When the shortage was at its worst the stress of finding or not knowing if I was getting medication was worse than being unmedicated so I was off it for a while then.

I like both medicated me and chaos agent me. They’re both cool guys for different reasons.

Same. Plus I rarely clarified. Back in the day if someone zinged me anyway I’d generally make a joke about their mom or intelligence using the most hurtful language I could. I do not recommend the last part.

I don’t really do it anymore because I’m a middle aged dude who can’t give a shit about anyone else’s opinion. But I remember what it was like being a teenager who was weird even by teenager standards at a time when being different was not celebrated. I recommend against doing everything I did to protect myself but euphemisms for my hobbies are one I can absolutely recommend.

A lot of games have great music. Instead of calling it video game music, which absolutely invites people to say stupid shit, just say you generally listen to atmospheric soundtracks.

Growing up in small town east Texas taught me to create euphemisms for all kinds of fun shit.

So a hair under 20 years ago I was offered a position similar to this after leaving the Navy. I’m so glad I went into private industry in another field entirely.

The funniest part is I had the diagnosis as a kid but no one did anything about it. They were just trying to figure out what was wrong with me. I got rediagnosed as an adult and got on medication.

I guess knowing about it meant I didn’t have to spend years trying to figure out why I was considered gifted but couldn’t get shit done.

That would be a nightmare for tattoo shops.

(For those that don’t know, many tattoo shops have Friday 13th deals with specific flash you can get for multiples of $13 depending on complexity. The quality ones have new cute Friday 13th flash a couple of times a year and lines around the block.)

At that point crack is cheaper.

That’s been my entire career in computing. I was a director at a small company until it got bought out because they kept promoting me for jumping in with both feet and figuring shit out.

Don’t be. We’ve all enjoyed media that was made by problematic people or media that later became problematic. I didn’t know shit about Scott Adams when I started reading the strip and I really enjoyed it. I didn’t know the pointy haired boss was the hero of the story.

I loved Ender’s Game as a misunderstood gifted kid. Once I grew up I enjoyed the others. Then I found out that he’s a raging bigoted jackass. That doesn’t change the message and enjoyment I got back when I needed it, it just means I won’t financially support that jackass again.

See also: Ye, Cosby, a shit pile of rock music, and a ton of other art.

With disabled hardware decoding.

Either that or it becomes my new personality for weeks because I managed to figure it out along the way. Then, after spending too much time and money on it, it’s completely abandoned.