Actually, Apple’s AI has made this pretty useful these days. It’s become yet another extension of my brain since i can now search them. But, yes, for a long time they were just more clutter. And, the benefit may still be quite marginal due to the fact that they are using energy in perpetuity as long as they are stored in the cloud. lol

I know how you feel as I experienced some similarities with up bringing. Do you know of the disorganized attachment type or mother wounds? Emotional neglect during your first few years of life, even if basic needs are being met, can lead to what you describe. I’ve made progress myself, as has my wife, but it is difficult.