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Cake day: August 8th, 2023

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  • In the moment It was mostly concerned with the task at hand, which was usually drawing, listening to music and adoring the funky visual effects (no halicunations tho). But the most specific thing that came out of it was changed relationship with some of my friends.

    One of them was, for instance, quite annoying. I seem to be quite sensitive to the stuff, meaning that I was the first one “in” and the last one “out”. He was the kind of guy to tease people a s a joke. It annoyed me before, but during the trips I finally realized how immature and annoying that stuff became. He was joking about me while I was in a vulnerable state and expected maturity from the people around me. The changed perspective meant that I finally got to look from the outside in and determine that I maybe should disengage from the relationship a bit.

    It’s not that I wouldn’t recommend others to do it. I just won’t do it again because I now realize how much this kind of stuff kan really affect you. As long as you’re in the right headspace it can be a very cool experience. I still remember, after hours of chill music, how we all suddenly fell silent after an intense build-up followed by a heavy DnB drop. It felt physical, like I was suddenly pushed into the couch by the bass and couldn’t get out. Not sure if I’ll ever experience music in that way again.


  • Magic mushrooms, or any other psychedelic stuff. I did it three times, and in retrospect I’m not sure if I realized what I was messing with. Unlike being drunk, it actually feels like these instances actually changed me as a person. Not for the worse, but it’s still kinda spooky.

    On the surface it was just some fun, my brain was being silly and everything felt much more vibrant. But beyond that it actually changed my views on people and concepts. It altered my relationships and ultimately who I am as a person. Looking back, thos stuff seems to put your brain into an entirely different mode of creating and removing connections. It’s not just messing with the “RAM” like alcohol, this stuff is writing to disk and making persistent changes.


  • Yuppers. I need CUDA for my machine learning projects, both for hobby and professionally. I considered AMD and their alternative at the time, but it wasn’t supported on their consumer cards back then, and I also didn’t fully trust their commitment. It’s getting better though, so hopefully AMD can convince me for my next GPU in a few years.