As a woman who has been trying for literal decades to exist in traditionally male nerdy spaces, there are a LOT of asshole gatekeeper guys that keep the women away. I’ve gotten everything from inquisitions into my “nerd cred” to outright rape threats from guys in nerdy and gaming communities.
If you have a doctor that you can see, you could ask about trying Prazosin for the nightmares. It’s a blood pressure medication that has been shown to reduce PTSD nightmares, and getting better quality sleep can make a huge difference in your ability to handle everything else. It’s a dirt-cheap medication with minimal side effects, and it’s not a controlled substance that shows up on anything.