The class conscientiousness where not that high in Russia. And the vanguard party (the bolchevik) were severely weakened before the revolution. I don’t for others countries, but if “helping” consist in “stealing all the gold reserves, force self organized milicia to obey to officer coming from nowhere, and even attacking and killing selforganized workers”, yeah they definitely help.
For information, their where not once mass organization on those vanguard and hierarchical line before the intervention of the USSR. Using materialism dialectic would have make USSR to back the revolutionary force, not trying to lead them at all costs.
Lots of neurodivergent and antifascists, and sureley around your place. Not being a fascists scum make you already priceless. Maybe their is some collective that could help you to get some distance, or at least have some break. Antifa orga, unions, sportive association, neighborhood association … Solidarity comrade.