It’s a mantra about teaching people and then expecting them to forget it. Doesn’t work. They’ll default to what they already know.
My freshman English teacher got married in October and I called her by her maiden name the entire year.
Like all programming mantras, it’s not universally true, but it’s annoyingly reliable. It reflects the shape of the human brain.
Honestly I hate how much I hold back, now. Too many communities fell for the cult of civility and think “here’s detailed proof that you’re a fucking liar” is worse behavior than “calm down, honey.” Sometimes it is right and good to call people names. Punishing that, but not even addressing why someone might do that, is acting as a force multiplier for trolls. You can be an absolute monster in polite words.
To all moderators, on all platforms, I ask - if you don’t stop people from being assholes, but you stop people from calling them assholes, who do you think benefits from that power structure?