To be fair, I don’t go around touching things and eating with my bare buttcrack all day. I do those things with my hands, which I wash after going to the bathroom. And I shower at least once a day and clean that buttcrack with soap.

That’s not to say that a bidet isn’t better than TP, just that the analogy never made sense.

Usually they just give me their number, or sometimes they just don’t. I’ve never had to jump through hoops of fire, or tame a grizzly bear, or develop a new mathematical theorem to prove I’m worth a shot. “Can I have your number?” should just be a yes or no question.

Does that happen regularly to you? Because that’s not normal.

I was petsitting for friends on vacation who had just adopted kittens. I went to the bathroom to pee, and while I was peeing one kitten jumped onto the rim of the toilet bowl and slipped and fell in. It took a second or so to stop the stream and get kitty out of there, and then I had to gently wash him in the bathtub.

I was cracking up so hard, but felt so bad for the kitten.