Damn, got the decoy

This is like a wonderful parody of every early-aught crime show featuring a tech-heavy storyline. Some of the best dry humor I’ve read in the past few weeks.

I was gonna ask about the loving Hezbollah patriots, too

I wonder what Dell is gonna name their next desktop!

You know what? I feel like I can safely say, FROM MY IPHONE, that you didn’t have to comment at all.

Okay… They probably stopped reading after applauding my self-righteous indignation…

^Fuck Apple^

Sent from my iPhone

I Cain not endorse your humor. You must be stoned.

A father walks in on his son masturbating and says “if you keep that up, you’re going to go blind.” The son responds “I’m over here, Dad.”

Open your eeeeeeyes, I see… Your eyes are open

Abolitionist Absolutionist Abolitionist

It’s likely to soon fall off

Hey, ummm… I think I see the problem. Your printer has diarrhea

I have the 14 pro and my sister recently got the 16 base model. I don’t know why, but the pictures from her newer phone looked like a major leap backwards in quality. Also, the latest OS does feel like its features were written in crayon and that its waiting to kick off its training wheels. I can’t fully describe it: it’s not clunky or clumsy, it just feels like something is missing from the experience. I’ve never really felt this way from a phone version upgrade before.

I switched to iPhone from Android because I was tired of Google making changes to their security and APIs that were killing my macros I’d write for my phone. I was also tired of Google sending everything good to the graveyard. Finally, I hated that Google would promise features or support for x number of years and then pull the rug out from under me (although, lack of support was usually caused by the manufacturer)

Before spending $1000 on my iPhone, I told my wife that it was a good investment because of Apple’s proven history of supporting devices with 5 years of updates; so we agreed that I’d keep this iPhone as my daily driver for 5 years because of the exuberant cost.

Well, my wish came true and here we are. I’ve got a phone that doesn’t respect my privacy, doesn’t respect my settings, has a frustrating UI/UX, and has low compatibility with most of my existing infrastructure. I gotta admit, though, my experience is far more consistent now, but not in a good way.

They didn’t have duct tape back then. Mechanical arm was obviously the only solution left

I am parallel parking champion. And when my wife and I work together, our team is a masterclass in parallel parking.

I got so good by hitting lots of things and getting my car stuck at weird angles. Living in NJ for two years gave me lots of opportunities to practice and improve my skills.

The biggest first tip I can give anyone: as long as you don’t completely pass the car you’re trying to park behind, you can never pull too far forward before beginning your maneuver.

Also, if anyone honks at you, calmly check to see if you’re about to hit something—if not, they’re trying to tell you that you’re doing an awesome job! Thank them for their compliment by waving gleefully with either 1 or 5 fingers, your choice.

ETA: oh yeah! Secret sauce reveal. Get some blind spot mirrors but focus them towards your tires. It’s like a cheat code for parking in any situation.