𝔄 𝔰𝔢𝔫𝔱𝔦𝔢𝔫𝔱 𝔭𝔦𝔢𝔠𝔢 𝔬𝔣 𝔠𝔥𝔢𝔢𝔰𝔢

It’s giving

April – 1805.
Napoleon is master of Europe.
Only the British fleet stands before him.
Oceans are now battlefields.

Salary man

It’s just a very accurate description of me.

Oh god, imagine USB-A’ing your electrical outlets.

*shudders in german*

Why in god’s name should you need therapy for writing about clay sculpting?!

Pick that up!

FOR KARL!!!

Um. If you order by May 25th, they will ship it three weeks into the past? Or do they need to know by May 25th 2025 to get it to you on time by May 4th 2026?

We took the first 10 months together and then I took an additional 8 months while she got back to work.

Literally zero regret. There’s so many small moments you’ll miss not being around. No amount of money can bring that back. Now that I’m working full time, it fucking hurts just seeing the kid basically just for dinner and bedtime during the week.

I work in an office, that’s the bare minimum here.

I’ve had a coworker argue that he’s not a nazi, despite doing all the nazi shit and saying all the nazi stuff, because he does it only for the money.

Hiring me has many benefits!

• does work
• shows up
• takes average amount of toilet brakes
• rarely breaks things
• fucks up only on accident

THIS IS HOW YOUR FREE COFFEE AND WATER “BENEFITS” FUCKING SOUND!!

In my friend group (in Germany) certainly.

Maybe it’s aging as well, getting more severe hangovers and from less alcohol. But alcohol free beer has gotten so much better in the last 5-10 years, there’s ones where you legit can almost not even tell anymore. And there’s alcohol free wine and champagne as well.

I hear “Why aren’t you drinking?” way less.

More than half of my friends still smoke, though. Not a poor people thing here.

My phone recognises touch inputs I do with my knuckles. Knock for screenshot, knock with two knuckles for screen record, and draw an S shape with my knuckle to start a scroll shot.

This is fantastic.

Samesies. Will also be one of the harder things to cut out. I have GER/EN/UA and it works very well, apart from some capitalisation errors.

BuzzFeed was actually doing very solid investigative journalism after it got over its listicle phase.

Where’s the Dijon mustard then?!

We’re not bringing groovy back. Period.

I need help