I started taking stimulants a month ago for ADHD, and wow. I mean, some of the effects were expected - the increased alertness, the focus, the slight uptick in motivation (I haven’t experienced the full ‘GO GO TAKE CARE OF NORMAL THINGS’ burst that some friends and online folk have had, but I’ve had a little motivation boost, and I’m grateful for every little bit).
But the counterintuitive effects? That I sleep easier and better now than I have in years? That my temper is much reduced because it doesn’t bang at my head like a jackhammer? That I can sit down and relax, because my focus isn’t darting to every little distraction? That I can listen to people talk without wanting to bash my head in because listening is idleness and idleness drove me crazy? The exact opposite of things that I would have expected from taking a stimulant, before I learned that I had ADHD and got put on them?
The human mind is whack
Medicine is fucking witchcraft
Two of my friends, also ADHD, have had a sustained experience on meds which was agreed upon by them to be something akin to “The Spirit of Cleaning visited me at midnight as usual; only now it wasn’t midnight, it wasn’t out of control, and it was on command both starting and stopping”.
I’ve not had any such visits yet (though I’ve previously, while not on meds, definitely had the “Midnight Spirit of Cleaning” visits) nor taming of the spirits, but I have found that starting small tasks and finishing them is much easier, so you know, I’ll fucking take it. The level of utter dysfunction I formerly had is… hard to imagine that it’s been most of my life 'til now.
I wasn’t medicated until my early 30’s, so I get it at least. The anxiety and the depression that came with not being medicated sucked ass as well, so take that very seriously if you need.
Same boat, has taken years of therapy as part of my treatment plan to start working through those learned behaviours.
ADHD sucks ass.