I’ve always wondered this. Some people have trouble with dating because they try to go for people out of their league who don’t like them back. But society also tells us that we can’t choose who we are attracted to. Like for example, no one makes a “choice” to be gay.
So what happens when you’re only attracted to those out of their league that will never ever like them back?
Do the people with this issue still date? But when they date, they lie to their partner that they are into them? I have been on a couple of dates with someone I wasn’t into before. It make me incredibly guilty and dishonest that I did not like them back.
Curious as to the experience/thoughts of others.
Apologies if this is the wrong community. I will remove on request. Thanks.
Stop focusing on your looks. Become someone who: likes themselves, is funny, is caring, is growing their career, is good fixing things, is strong, is a leader, helps others, can sing well, or something else.
Unexpectedly, showing progress is nearly as important than the end state. Someone growing their career and becoming funny, gets most of the points for having a good career and being funny (note actual progress, not day dreaming).
My advice is to pursue whatever you guess will help you like yourself, but that is not necessary.
I think you all are misunderstanding my question. I tried to phrase it in a general way so that it could potentially apply to other people. But you all are misinterpreting what I am saying.
I am absolutely not saying that I’m ugly. I am perfectly average looking to maybe slightly below average looking. I don’t generally like to admit any of the following out loud because I don’t like to brag. But I am fit, nice, funny, well liked, and have a very good job making good money.
There are plenty of people that look “regular” like me. “Regular” people seem to be very occasionally attracted to me. I am only attracted to ultra attractive people. Ultra attractive people are not the norm and are an outlier. It doesn’t matter how much “personality” someone has for me. It doesn’t make me attracted to them. I have been on dates with sweet, caring, funny, normal people like me. I don’t have the capacity for attraction to them. I understand that it makes me “shallow”, but I cannot choose this attraction. Many times I wish I had the capacity to feel attraction to those around me, but I cannot.
I am afraid you are misunderstanding me.
There is no way to control who you are attracted to. You control do fully control what you act on.
You could avoid looking at “supermodels”. Maybe that will help.
If you want to date supermodels, then improve yourself enough they want to date you. If that is not possible, then consider getting professional psychiatric help for this “supermodel” thing.
Regular people should improve themselves. That is all they can do.