I’ve always wondered this. Some people have trouble with dating because they try to go for people out of their league who don’t like them back. But society also tells us that we can’t choose who we are attracted to. Like for example, no one makes a “choice” to be gay.
So what happens when you’re only attracted to those out of their league that will never ever like them back?
Do the people with this issue still date? But when they date, they lie to their partner that they are into them? I have been on a couple of dates with someone I wasn’t into before. It make me incredibly guilty and dishonest that I did not like them back.
Curious as to the experience/thoughts of others.
Apologies if this is the wrong community. I will remove on request. Thanks.
Super models aren’t somehow wired to only like other super models. A person’s outwards looks don’t tell you what they find attractive. When you see gorgeous celebrity couples, they’re only getting that coverage because they’re both gorgeous (Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt). Some remaining romance coverage goes towards couples where one is gorgeous and the other is talented/accomplished (Aubrey Plaza and Jeff Baena). The other 99% of couples don’t get any media attention because it’s not fun to talk about #4 sexiest woman of 2021 and her husband, extra #4.
It’s completely normal to be attracted to super models. They are literally chosen as excellent candidates for conventionally attractive builds and then dolled up to close the gap on perfection. Keep in mind, you’re probably ignoring a huge swath of models that aren’t your flavor of perfection as that varies between cultures and ethnicities. What you can hopefully realize is those perfect images have a ton of work done to the “base” person by makeup, lighting, camera angle, and photoshop. They’re generally not real. Such gorgeous celebrities are so far from their perfected image that they often go unrecognized in public if not for some unique visual trait. Even just having an unfamiliar accent makes people doubt the identity.
You want a real shock (assuming you’re a straight male)? Look up your favorite porn stars without makeup. The picture is out there.
You don’t need to change your lust for super models, just hopefully come to realize they’re a fantasy. And more than anything, those perfect 21 year old looks won’t last. They may be perfect for 30 or perfect for 40, but not for 21. And that’s OK. Your opinion will change as you age yourself. 8th grade me though high schoolers were adults. Now I don’t even want to be seen with the babies called “college students”.
You never know who will walk into your life. You’ll never know what they’re thinking.
I don’t think you guys are understanding. I cannot force myself to be attracted to “personality”. It doesn’t work that way for me. I absolutely wish I could. I understand that it’s “shallow”. I understand that looks aren’t forever. I understand that celebs only get photos when they look their best. But I still cannot force attraction that isn’t there. I have people that I enjoy their company a ton and care for them a lot, but I don’t get attracted to them. It’s like…you don’t get attracted to your mom.
I don’t “lust” for anyone… especially not porn stars. I have the opposite problem that you’d think. I have a significantly reduced capacity for attraction compared to other people. I talk about celeb appearances because they are just barely able to register on my radar. Masturbating doesn’t even work for me. So no, I don’t have a porn addiction. I’ve only very rarely even looked it up out of curiosity and it didn’t do much.
Do you feel lust and sexual attraction to these super models?
Not really. Minimal sexual attraction very occasionally. Which is more than the 0 ever attraction to people I meet irl.
I’m only vaguely with the concept, but have you looked into asexualism? It sounds to me more like a generally low sex drive as opposed to only liking the most beautiful 0.01% on the planet.