“Look Jon. We need to talk. You can’t keep dressing me up like this. All the other dogs at the park are laughing at me. And I just feel like—really Jon? A camera? As I’m midsentence saying how much I hate this? Alright fine. Take your picture. But you’re giving me extra treats tonight. Yes bitch, I said EXTRA treats! Don’t you hold out on me! Keep giving me the kibble, but where’s the bits???”