I think the worst may have been my dad dying suddenly when I was a teenager and can’t really think of anything good that came from that.

But my ex getting abusive was traumatic all round for me & the kids so maybe that was worse, and it did have some good knock-on effects - I got my older two kids into colleges away from home so they could be away from him and away from having to help with the younger ones, eventually got the rest of us out and wow did my life take a turn for the better. While his fell apart completely, which (while it’s not a positive development) did give me confidence that he was actually the problem.