I like cooking, and don’t use recipes. Drinks, too. I like creating foods and drinks that people love because it’s like a gift but they don’t have to keep it. I guess it’s a traditional art in a way but not always expressed artistically.

I can’t speak for all women, but looks for me are a yes/no binary, but a primary filter. So if a guy looks good enough, attractive to me, then I can be attracted to him if he’s attractive in other ways. But there’s no bonus for better than good enough, better looking doesn’t matter at all. It is quite important - nobody has ever moved out of the appearance “no” bucket into the “yes”. But there is no 1-10 scaling, no consideration beyond the yes/no, I’m never going to be more attracted to a man just because he’s gorgeous.

I am certainly not in your target demographic, and personally yeah it would be a turnoff but it would be really stupid for you to try to change and be unhappy - you don’t need everyone to appreciate you in a romantic way, you only need a few admirers, right?

Looking at the people my kids date (more likely your age) they don’t seem to have the preference for “manly men”, none of them. They like guys who are not afraid to be soft, not afraid to wear nail polish or look ‘girly’ or whatever, they seem to find guys who do the Masculine thing actively off-putting. So you are in a good cultural moment I’d say. I think you will do fine being yourself, also never think it’s a weakness to be gentle and caring. Most people want to be taken care of to some extent, just make sure this isn’t a one-way thing, you take care of them too.

I don’t mean letting them keep harming you - I mean when do you think it’s worth keeping the hate inside you, the unforgiveness. It doesn’t do anything to harm the offender, it’s only harmful to the victim.

So when is it worth holding on to that at your own expense? It’s a good question.

So pricey I used short ribs instead the last time I made the soup, because it worked out cheaper! I don’t know what is going on but they are. Enjoy it while you can, all the odds and ends that used to be cheap are not anymore, here.

Oxtail soup is amazing. I make it with a whole bottle of wine, and never eat it the first day. Unfortunately oxtail is very expensive here right now.

Do you eat meat? Big hunk o’ pork is one of the favorite meals of my kids. Salt the meat then broil or sear it in a pan. Put it in the slow cooker. Use broth, water, or wine to deglaze the pan and pour that over the meat.

Cut a couple of garlic heads in half horizontally, you don’t have to peel them. Toss them in.

Pour in the rest of the bottle of wine or box of broth, some orange juice is good too, lime if you didn’t have wine. Or some vinegar works if you don’t have lime. If you have cilantro put the stems in, if you don’t, don’t worry about it.

Close and cook on low all day. We usually have it with rice and black beans the first day, it’s good in tortillas with salsa, good on nachos, good in enchiladas, it’s just good

I guess we just disagree then. I literally don’t think it’s misbehaviour or anything to police like that. You want to put some sort of barrier up, but for what? So they will only do it at the girlfriend’s house? What does that accomplish? OP is not proposing to “provide turn down service, mints, and send them up to bed after dinner” just okaying a sleepover.

I do disagree because the drinking age where I am is 21, and drinking and driving is dangerous. So that would be asking if they can engage in illegal and potentially deadly activities. My kids will tell me if their friends drink at a party but they don’t, and they have all been comfortable with that too. But yes I like that they can tell me and ask for advice.

Sex, I very much prefer they have a safe space, I will leave and give them privacy, they are not doing anything wrong or illegal at all. I don’t actually think i’s a bad idea, it’s a natural part of a romantic relationship, and the kid is 17. And don’t understand your view that it’s safer for them to hide it from you? I hear the stories my kids tell about other kids and remember growing up in a household like that.

I’ve raised a lot of kids through teen years and YES absolutely. Him being able to casually tell you this is an affirmation of your success as a parent. He doesn’t feel like you are going to freak out. Talk with him about safe sex and enthusiastic consent, about how no birth control is 100% safe, make sure he’s not ignorant. Congratulations, parent, you have raised a reasonable person.

I’d invite her over often if it keeps his room clean!

Nah, more like prostitution. Y’all were providing something to them, like escorts. If you were of a legal age to do that it seems fine to me - dangerous sure (lucky you got the right crowd) but not trafficking, they didn’t trick you onto the boat or sell you.

I am not sure - this is a great question though - at what point do you let it keep harming you instead of letting it go? All the complicated social systems of revenge and avenging and reparation built around this.

You have to figure out a diet you can comfortably maintain forever, eat for your target weight. It’s no use just losing weight, you have to stay at a healthy weight.

So it’s going to be individual. For me, increased activity is the only factor, apparently I eat the same all the time. So walking everywhere or adding extra exercise works better.

I had a friend who lost weight by just reduced portions - she literally just took 1/3 less of everything. Like left more space on her plate. And another who ate popcorn for supper. Regular breakfast, regular lunch, then in the evening just popcorn. So again was eating 2/3 of what she had been. But then you have to keep it that way to maintain the weight.

We were settled by Puritans. I do not personally care, and my mom and dad didn’t either. It is not some sexual thing to stay naked while doing my hair and skincare, it’s practical because nothing gets on my clothes. We do have specific family friendly nudist resorts in the US but that’s countercultural, you are correct our culture is prudish.

I am like this and do not understand it. Literally the other day a FedEx guy remembered me because he was my brother’s friend, another guy said he remembered me from 2nd grade. Neither of them at all familiar to me, and this happens regularly. I could never be a spy. It’s not looks, I’m average in looks. This is not a small town either.

Deviled eggs? Probably 4 (8 halves)if it was all I’m eating. They are just so delicious.

Straight hard boiled eggs? If I have more than 3 I’m making egg salad so I don’t know. But would consider 2 of them a main dish, plenty enough if I have a salad or something to go with them. And 2 is all I’d want at one time.

My winter garden is over, except for the fennel and mojito mint (I leave it in there and just pull it up occasionally, it plays pretty nice) and a couple of lettuces.

Starting seedlings of jalapeno, butternut squash, eggplant, tomato. Later on will plant okra, a container of Stokes Purple sweet potato, and mini watermelons. Basil. The citrus made flowers but it seems late, winter was oddly cold this year.

Zone 10

What variety of peppers? It doesn’t freeze here, but jalapeno (my favorite) are annuals. The little bird peppers that grow on a bush just keep going forever.

I am socially liberal and with my personal budget, fiscally conservative. Government money? Different priorities, plenty of stuff would be cheaper when we pool our money like that, so I’m not sure what fiscally conservative means. My gut reaction is that this person isn’t socially liberal because regressive government fiscal policies harm the population, you can’t really split it out like that. I guess it’s someone who doesn’t care who you marry or how you dress but also doesn’t care if the schools are any good or if there is any enforcement of the rights to do the socially liberal things.

The fuck is a “woman-shaped woman”?