I want to start with a bit of a story. A few months ago I was laid off.
I was too stressed from the layoff to eat and lost a lot of weight. My doctor said I may have cancer. I started going through tests ultimately to find out I am clear. My friend at the same time was diagnosed and died of cancer shortly after.
I found a job right away, but my other friend and coworker didn’t. For the last ~10 months I searched for jobs for with him until I knew he had healthcare and medicine.
Now that he is employed I feel like I lack a purpose. I wonder why I survived and thrived when so many others can’t. I really don’t feel I deserved that.
I always found Buddhism interesting but a few months ago it just clicked. It was like I found where I should be. There’s no temple near me that is in English and I’m far too shy for a local community. I’m kind of following what I think is a path with no clear direction at times.
I feel the need to solve the world’s problems. I just don’t know how. I don’t know where to start. I just want to help. And I want to be a better whatever I am. I didn’t take any vows. I don’t really know how to proceed. Heck I don’t even think I meditate correctly. I’m still alive when others are not; and I want to take advantage of that. I want to make the world better.
I’d like your input.
Edit; I got a lot of work to do. Thank you all for your kind words.
Part of Buddhism is reaching an understanding on the essential relationship between good and evil, light and dark, etc. The two sides of all duality are complimentary and necessary. Happiness cannot be understood without sadness as a reference or background to contrast and compare.
However, an even greater understanding is the unified nature of duality, that they are both the same and different at the same time. One example is atoms, the structure and composition of atoms that makeup all material is consistent even though the material they comprise are seemingly different.
With this in mind, the idea that one could ‘solve the worlds problems’ becomes unnecessary. Evil will never overcome good, light will never overcome dark. The two are actually unified and inseparable. In Christianity, this message is often lost but if you look closely, its there:
Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
In my personal journey into eastern philosophy, focusing on Buddhism, Taoism and Zen, I’ve relied heavily on Alan Watts audio lectures. I’ve listened to most of his work several times over and I find it the best way to get a high-level understanding of these topics which has then led me to dive deeper into translated versions of older philosophical texts.
You can find a collection of Alan Watts’ lectures here, they are a treasure of humanity: https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1jdP5I__aKoDyMx7h4Y6B2J1ztTMjirhO
Namaste my friend, I pay respect to the god head present in you ☮
Alan Watts is not a good resource if you want really want to understand and practice Buddhism, he was critical in making it spread into the West but that’s it. He, by his admission, wasn’t even a Buddhist and considered himself a philosophical entertainer, and his knowledge of Buddhism reflected liberal (in an Anglican theological sense) hermeneutic, he was heavily rooted in the Anglican Christian tradition. Especially in this age you can easily find much more informations and resources from actual Buddhist traditions and teachers.
Lot of words there but no resources or anything remotely helpful for OP. You may notice I said ‘high-level’ suggesting a starting point. I shared my experiences which worked for me. Are you suggesting there is a ‘right’ and ‘wrong’ path to spirituality? The irony.
This was my answer to you, and no, everyone may live their own spirituality freely, but if we are talking about Buddhism, there surely are more appropriate ways.
You say we are talking about Buddhism, yet you do not say one word about it. Instead you seek to measure gurus; providing ‘answers’ to a question only you asked. Are you on a path to liberate all myriad beings or be ‘right’?