• sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works
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    3 days ago

    It’s weird that many of these words except for the n-word are taken as blanket unacceptable words even when that’s not their use case.

    Exactly. We just substitute other words, for example, “beta” means pretty much the same thing that “gay” and “fag” used to mean as kids.

    But even typing this out I fear someone may be offended, which I do not want!

    And that’s the crux of the problem. Most of those being offended aren’t even targeted by those terms. Look at the PC term we used in the 90s and 00s (and maybe earlier idk) for black people, “African American,” which was actually more offensive since it implied that they’re immigrants or whatever despite having deeper American roots than most Americans.

    The right takes this too far the other direction. But like I like to say, the truth (or best solution, in this case) lies somewhere in the middle. In this case, I think it’s closer to the left, but the mainstream left takes it way too far.

    When in doubt, ask. If you can’t ask, use technical terms, but really try to just ask.

    Seems Latine is much more reasonable and already used in SA.

    Exactly. But nobody bothered to ask, they just injected their own opinions.

    • oceanA
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      3 days ago

      And that’s the crux of the problem. Most of those being offended aren’t even targeted by those terms. Look at the PC term we used in the 90s and 00s (and maybe earlier idk) for black people, “African American,” which was actually more offensive since it implied that they’re immigrants or whatever despite having deeper American roots than most Americans.

      I think the answer is typically younger teens-30s white people who get offended on others behalf. You’ve framed this in an interesting way. IDEK why I’ve been led to think that way. I know I don’t want to think like the right does. And I disagree with how radically anti-logic academia can be but I do try to speak carefully within that setting.

      It’s almost as if white/cis/straight people are taking the potential suffering of non-whites and making it their own. Or at least living in a white savior fantasy.

      • sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works
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        3 days ago

        I know I don’t want to think like the right does.

        Join us at the edges (or middle, depending on your perspective) where we dislike both mainstream sides and instead decide on issues piecemeal. Don’t pick sides, even Republicans sometimes have decent ideas (though I only voted for one for many years, and I’ve voted for several Democrats in that time).

        I consider myself libertarian (small l, the Libertarian Party is just conservatives who like weed these days). I’m not anti-government or anything, I just think simpler is generally better, and I’m against big changes like limiting speech just to reduce perceived harm to some demographic.

        living in a white savior fantasy

        Exactly this.

        Ask any minority and they’ll say they don’t need a savior, they need respect. I should know, I’m married to a first generation POC immigrant, and I’ve been corrected a few times. If you act like you’re pulling someone up, that means they’re below you, and it’s just as hurtful (and sometimes more) than pushing them down. I understand the desire to help, but sometimes the best course of action is to leave them alone if you’re not willing to genuinely become a friend.

        I’m a huge proponent of DEI, but only in the way the company I worked for handled it, which was asking minorities to share their experiences. There was no mandated speech adjustment, hiring quotas, or anything like that, just understanding, and it was 100% optional (free lunch though). We even had professional speakers (in addition to our own panels) come and explain the issues they dealt with, with absolutely no call to action, and from diverse backgrounds (professional white women, black people of both genders, immigrants, etc). We had a decent turnout, and I was sad that they discontinued it.

        Understanding is how we solve these types of problems, just changing the labels we use feels like progress but doesn’t really help IMO.

        • oceanA
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          2 days ago

          I consider myself libertarian (small l, the Libertarian Party is just conservatives who like weed these days). I’m not anti-government or anything, I just think simpler is generally better, and I’m against big changes like limiting speech just to reduce perceived harm to some demographic.

          Makes sense to me :)

          Ask any minority and they’ll say they don’t need a savior, they need respect. I should know, I’m married to a first generation POC immigrant, and I’ve been corrected a few times. If you act like you’re pulling someone up, that means they’re below you, and it’s just as hurtful (and sometimes more) than pushing them down. I understand the desire to help, but sometimes the best course of action is to leave them alone if you’re not willing to genuinely become a friend.

          That’s good to know.

          I’m a huge proponent of DEI, but only in the way the company I worked for handled it, which was asking minorities to share their experiences. There was no mandated speech adjustment, hiring quotas, or anything like that, just understanding, and it was 100% optional (free lunch though). We even had professional speakers (in addition to our own panels) come and explain the issues they dealt with, with absolutely no call to action, and from diverse backgrounds (professional white women, black people of both genders, immigrants, etc). We had a decent turnout, and I was sad that they discontinued it.

          That does sounds beneficial. What sort of things would be shared?

          Understanding is how we solve these types of problems, just changing the labels we use feels like progress but doesn’t really help IMO.

          The correct term is African America but we still enslave millions in prisons across the country, right? lol

          • sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works
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            1 day ago

            That does sounds beneficial. What sort of things would be shared?

            Usually stories about struggles they had growing up.

            One black gentleman was adopted into a non-black home in an area with very few people who looked like him, and while he had a good childhood (though he certainly experienced racism), he felt disconnected from his roots until he found the local black chamber of commerce and realized how vibrant the local community was.

            Another was by a black woman who grew up a strong black community somewhere in the south. She didn’t have as many issues with racism until later in life, her struggles were more with her career, since black women (or women in general) weren’t expected pursue careers in tech (or maybe business, I forget), so more sexism with a racial backdrop.

            We also had people from Asia, E. Europe, and Africa, as well as women and gay men, either as speakers or on discussion panels. It was all focused around personal experiences, either when they felt excluded or something that helped them feel accepted.

            My takeaway was that hiring quotas and language don’t really do anything (one even brought stats about retention), the most important thing is to foster a sense of community. It shouldn’t be a top down thing either, or even within the company, just be aware of local community resources in case it comes up. If the focus is on quotas and language and not retention and community, you’re going to have issues.