I’d point out that taking responsibility for your actions doesn’t necessarily mean fixing them on your own.
It’s often more difficult (and more adult) to acknowledge that you’ve dug a hole for yourself that you can’t escape from on your own and ask for help.
Saying this as the parent of young adult children that are adulting well, but still need to ask for help. Also as the old adult child of my parents who must still force himself to ask them for help.
One big sign is when you stop demanding to be treated like an adult and just start being one.
Being an adult is just a decision you make one day.
Years ago my older brother was on the phone complaining to me because our mom found out he bought a motorcycle and was mad at him and my dad (who helped him pick it out).
He wanted to know why my mom thought she could treat him like a child.
I pointed out that when he decided to get a motorcycle and kept it secret from our mom, he was acting like a child and enabling her to treat him like one.
I have no interest in ever owning a motorcycle. However, if I ever did, it would never occur to me to keep it secret from anybody, because I’m an adult in charge of my own life. Everyone else can have opinions, but I get to decide whose opinions matter to me.
Well, it was yes.
What we’re all seeing now is that the Constitution ultimately depends on our willingness to agree to collectively abide by it.
It was always just a story, but while we all agreed to believe in it, it was a true story.
It existed as more than an idea in the late 1800s, because it is referenced in the US Constitution in 1787.
It looks like the concept was established earlier:
I managed to logic my parents out of one thing.
My parents actually asked me if it was possible that the vaccines contained 5G micro robots.
After taking a moment to maintain my composure and put on my “pretend I wasn’t asked a stupid question and answer seriously” face, I asked them to take out their phone.
When the phone was in their hand, I asked them to consider the fact that it must be charged every day to keep working, and that the vast majority of the size of the phone was taken up by the battery. Then I pointed out that a device small enough to be injected wouldn’t have enough power to still be on when it left the needle.
Luckily I didn’t have to go further than that.
I think that’s the only time I’ve had any success pounding logic into them. I think the problem is they can’t think of me as anything but a child, except where computers are concerned.
They paid for my computer science degree, and they know I’ve been working in IT for 32 years, and I answer all their computer questions. So, if the subject is computer-related, I’m their expert. Anything else and I’m just a deluded child.
I haven’t tried talking to my mom about the SSA COBOL AI rewrite yet. I’m not sure if she heard about it or if she did whether she understood enough to even be concerned enough to ask me.
I found this to be an interesting question.
I don’t think of myself in terms like that. I’m American (as in United States of). If people ask where I’m from, I’d say Pennsylvania.
If asked what I am, in terms of what countries my ancestors came from, I would typically just list my four grandparents. Since that encompasses four different European countries, it’s too complicated to think of myself as a hyphenated American. Maybe you’re in that situation.
Ultimately, the label is yours, so you get to decide. No one else’s opinion matters. It’s your identity. Just say what feels right to you.
Ah, but is a chicken egg a chicken egg because it came out of a chicken or because a chicken comes out of it?
That is the real question.
I was doing IT 30 years ago.
Back then you’d post a question on USENET and get an answer back from the guy who wrote the program you were asking about.
Scribbled on the whiteboard in the office.
jk
You’ve got the right plan, but I just want to share some stories.
My recommendation is always to avoid adding a new cat to a cat household unless it happens during a move when no cat has a claim on territory.
After many, many months of the two cats essentially living separately in the apartment, they finally accepted that they would have to let the cats fight it out. It was distressing, and there were some minor injuries, but they’ve settled down.
They again followed a similar plan. The old cat smelled the new cats in the room where they were segregated, and absolutely lost his shit. They ended up fighting under the closed door, and tearing up a 3 foot by 10 inch section of (brand new) carpeting at the doorway trying to kill each other. Bye bye security deposit. Any time they tried to carefully let the cats interact, the was nothing but attempted murder.
They moved to a new apartment, and nearly all violence ceased immediately. There’s still the occasional cat behavior where one decides to slap a brother, but it’s more like normal sibling behavior than attempted murder.
However, her old cat was not happy with the situation and blamed her. He started peeing everywhere: on the floors, on her bed, on her clothes. If you think cats aren’t vindictive and capable of hitting you where it hurts, consider this: he climbed up onto the counter, straddled her toaster, and peed into it.
She ended up getting a prescription for kitty Prozac for the cat, which helped, but did not eliminate the behavior.
When the old cat eventually died, she had to tear out and replace the floors in her house too get rid of the cat piss smell.
There were no problems except our old cat was old and lazy and the new cat was young and wanted to play. It was distressing for the old cat until one day when he was able to realize that I wasn’t going to do anything if he decided to beat the shit out of her. From then on if she decided to mess with him, he’d just give her a good beat down and then they’d be ok until the next time she decided to try her luck.
There was a hint for her behavior, as she was surrendered to the shelter because “she didn’t get along with and older cat”. At her first vet visit, the doctor noticed a healed fracture in one of her legs. So, in her previous home she pissed off an older cat who didn’t practice as much restraint as ours.
Scissors are the ideal utensil for correcting unseparated pizza slices.
…ignoring that going from disabled to average would feel like gaining superpowers.
I believe that computer just attracts people who are outcasts
I think you’re right, but I’ve also read that there might be some correlation between being trans and being on the autism spectrum. If that’s true, then it is reasonable to expect a higher than average percentage of IT people would be trans.
“You don’t come here for the hunting, do you?”
I will say a proud (if dismayed) moment for me as a parent was being forced to see the text’s between my daughter and the boy she was interested in.
Context: they were both 15, and the boy’s parents were religious wack-jobs. The father specifically said that 15 was too young to have a relationship. I had to respectfully disagree, since my wife was 15 when we started dating (I was 16).
Of course, the parents monitored all the boys communications, and would send me crap i didn’t want to see.
In the texts the boy suggested that he and my daughter should lie to the parents. My daughter pointed out that there’s no way we wouldn’t know.
She knew that we considered lying to be the one unforgivable sin. So she wouldn’t waste it ;-)
Thankfully, that relationship died. It would have been a whole lot easier to let it alone, but his parents couldn’t.
I’ve heard that when the boy went to college he couldn’t handle the freedom and ended up dropping out and returning home.
That depends on the situation. If you don’t know them, then yeah, you’d need to confirm you’re taking to the right person.
I ended up meeting all the parents of my kids’ friends, so it would have been beyond difficult to fake that.
Said this in a reply to another comment, but I wanted to make a top level reply as well.
I’ve been in this situation.
My recommendation is to tell your son he has to have Tiffany ask one of her parents to give you a call.
You don’t want to initiate the call in case they don’t know and are nut jobs.
However, you want to hear them say they are ok (and what they are ok with) in case they don’t know and are nut jobs.
Establishing a relationship with her parents will help when it comes time to decide which grandparents are going to cover which babysitting shifts ;-)
Just kidding about that last part. Kind of.
I’ve been in this situation.
I wouldn’t initiate a conversation with her parents, but I would insist that they give me a call.
I would want to hear it from them. If they did give permission, I would want to find out what their expectations are.
Asking to hear from Tiffany’s parents also gets around the possibility that they think Tiffany is actually spending the night at Amber’s house.
Unless they filmed a flashback to when I was killed, nothing.