this happens in a public park.

first time this happens to me afaik. I was just stretching with black leggings and a t-shirt. I noticed him 100 yards away walking around but always looking at me. Upon making eye contact he would look away but as soon as I turned to stretching, he’d look at me.

He started slowly approaching me and at one point stood at like 15 yards from me, but still separated by a fence. At that point I decided to cut my work out short and left avoiding eye contact.

I consider myself lucky because he didn’t follow me.

What scared me the most is he was bigger and taller than me.

If this ever happened to you, how did you react? How do I react next time this happens?

  • Dark Arc@social.packetloss.ggEnglish
    0·
    5 months ago

    I’m not sure there’s any other good reaction than the one you had.

    Maybe he was just “checking you out” and being very untactful and impolite about it (i.e. he’s just awkward).

    Maybe he was looking at something else near you … but probably not.

    But also maybe, he’s not right in the head and was thinking about doing more than just looking…

    My advice (as a guy) is either:

    • Look for another person nearby (or a couple/group), voice your concern, and ask them to walk with you away from the situation.
    • If that fails, just do your best to leave but stay situationally aware.

    I’m also going to add, that “look for help thing” includes looking for random guys that weren’t creeping you out that might be walking by. I know there’s the whole stranger danger thing that most of us were raised with, but … most guys are not rapists. If you just look for a normal looking dude (or someone that really looks like they’ve got their shit together) and ask them… I’d say 9/10 they’d be more than happy to get you out of that situation.

    We need to (as a society) normalize women letting guys know about problematic men.

  • NewWorldOverHere@lemmy.world
    0·
    5 months ago

    First - great job!

    Take some time to recognize that you did well, even without practicing beforehand. You realized something shady was going on and got yourself safely out of there. You took action when you needed it most.

    Ok, now to your questions.

    You always want to check around you:

    1. What are your exits? Can you get to your car?
    2. Are there other people around who can help you?
    3. Are there any other threats? (Is there another man coming up behind you?)
    4. Do you have cell service to call police?

    Once you have those questions answered, you can decide what you want to do.

    -Sometimes, the answer is to leave immediately.

    -Sometimes, you can go hang out with other people at the park and pretend to know them. Just tell them you’re scared of the guy watching you, pretend laugh for a couple minutes with them, and hopefully he leaves. If he doesn’t, then you can still leave, but he “knows” you were just with “friends.” You can even ask them to walk with you to the exit.

    -Sometimes, the answer is to call a taxi so the guy can’t see what car you get into, and come back later for your car.

    -Sometimes (as long as there are other people in the park), the answer is to confront him (from a distance). “Why do you keep looking at me? It’s weird.” Or, “Stop looking at me.” Or, “Fuck off.”

    If you’re a woman, this isn’t the last time you’ll have an encounter with a guy like this.

    In the future, recommend going with a friend or a dog if you can. Or, try to meet up with a local yoga group at the park (or start one!).

    Final note - you didn’t deserve this. You deserve to be safe doing any activity in any clothing in any area. I’m sorry that wasn’t your experience. Sending you hugs.

    Edit: One other option I forgot - Situation permitting, get evidence. Take a picture and/or video as you walk away. Your priority is still your safety, but getting evidence is helpful too so that you can identify the person later on (and also back up your story when it’s questioned because #america).

  • index@sh.itjust.works
    0·
    5 months ago

    Focus on your exercises and don’t get distracted by other people. If you can’t keep up your attention move to another place less crowded.

  • Shortstack@reddthat.com
    0·
    5 months ago

    Lots of people giving advice here, but I’m not seeing the most important advice being emphasized.

    Always trust your gut. Listen to that uneasy feeling and act on it.

    We developed this intuition over millennia for a reason. Your subconscious will pick up on cues even if you consciously aren’t catching it.

      • ormr@lemm.ee
        0·
        5 months ago

        Yes that moral imbalance also striked me when reading this. When grandma has a gut feeling towards brown people and talks about that, she’d be called a bigot here. But when it’s about men, the highest upvoted advice is to listen to the feeling of fear in your gut…

        • Droechai@lemm.ee
          1·
          5 months ago

          If people only listened to their gut all people from a different culture which similar but not same body language as well as people with a disability would be even more estranged than today.

          What does your gut tell you about the guy in line at the tell who keeps his hand in his pockets and fiddling with something who then seem to panic a bit when someone tries to look him in the eyes? Is it a robber or an autistic person who don’t want to show his hand due to having a stim toy and have learned to not stim in public view?