I grew up in a rough household. We had holes punched into the walls, doors torn off the frames, my siblings and I saw regular abuse, and as a kid I constantly felt like I had to do things to keep the family held together.

I felt like I was treated by my parents as a servant. They constantly threw away anything I remotely liked, and continued stacking chores on me, especially those that weren’t my own mess. They gave me the boot shortly before graduation, and long story short, I finally got a place for myself after years of effort.

I just can’t shake this feeling though that things are painfully unfair. Like you escape hell after all these years, and the first thing expected from you is to find a job. I get it, you need to work to make money and pay the rent and bills but… why me? Why after all this time of putting up with the crap you have instead of being a kid are you just expected to step in line like everyone else when you never got that opportunity to find who you are and simply enjoy life for what it is.

I don’t know, is this lazy? It’s not that I don’t want to work, but why can’t I be a kid? Why can’t I have some time to reclaim what all was taken from me and have some time to enjoy myself rather than grasp at random short memories I had before I was 5? Everyone else got it, why not me?

I don’t know, am I just rambling about nothing?

  • Cephalotrocity@biglemmowski.winEnglish
    10·
    1 day ago

    There’s no frustration in my comment. Why would I even be frustrated? I’m speaking plainly about reality. Taking offense to that is a luxury OP doesn’t have, and the faster they realize this the better their outcome will be. In my experience working with people in OP’s position, trying to soften the message gets interpreted as platitudes, insecurity, and untrustworthyness which only gives them reasons to doubt or blow off the information. No bueno.

    • Pudutr0n@feddit.cl
      14·
      1 day ago

      Well, I don’t know. Maybe you’re right. You just didn’t offer any acknowledgement of the difficulties OP faced, which didn’t sound like a picnic. People tend to have trouble finding empathy when they’re frustrated, stressed or in any kind of distress really. This and some of the wording in your final paragraph is what gave me that impression.

      But yeah, I don’t know what’s best or what you were feeling when you wrote it. You may have a better idea than I do for all I know and you’re free to disregard my comment.

      I’m not the advice police or anything. Just someone who thinks compassion helps communities grow healthier and was chipping in.

      Either way, have a good week.