I’ve never understood the appeal of meeting people at bars. If you want to build a relationship with someone, why not do it with someone you already know? Ask out a coworker or classmate or something. Why approach random people in bars purely based on their appearance?
And then there are people like me, who don’t have the biggest friend group and it’s predominantly male. And my workplace is also highly male dominated. So I don’t have any women that I know that I could ask out.
Because it’s a social environment. You don’t go purely on appearance usually, you see someone interesting, start chatting, maybe you flirt a bit and if the vibes are right you move forward. If anything it’s far less appearance focused than the apps where it’s a picture and a bio and not interaction.
As for why not coworkers and classmates and such, it’s fine if flirtation is happening. But to a certain degree it’s shitting where you eat. People have professional and to a lesser degree academic personas that are less who they really are than their social personas.
Because there is a very real sentiment called “Don’t shit where you eat.” I learned it the hard way in two different workplaces. In the first one, we broke up and it ruined the work environment. In the second, the ‘no’ was expanded to HR complaints and lawsuits, again ruining the work environment. Knowing someone has (or had) romantic interest in you can be a pain, and it can definitely blow up a working relationship.
Dating is all about going places you don’t like to meet people so also don’t want to be there, which makes literally any other option more appealing.
My SO and I met at a dance. I didn’t want to be there, and my SO thought it was tacky, so we had something immediately in common when I walked over to talk.
It’s a weird, unspoken cultural thing. If I go somewhere to have fun, I’m not interested in meeting new people, I’m interested in the activity.
I’ve never understood the appeal of meeting people at bars. If you want to build a relationship with someone, why not do it with someone you already know? Ask out a coworker or classmate or something. Why approach random people in bars purely based on their appearance?
And then there are people like me, who don’t have the biggest friend group and it’s predominantly male. And my workplace is also highly male dominated. So I don’t have any women that I know that I could ask out.
Because it’s a social environment. You don’t go purely on appearance usually, you see someone interesting, start chatting, maybe you flirt a bit and if the vibes are right you move forward. If anything it’s far less appearance focused than the apps where it’s a picture and a bio and not interaction.
As for why not coworkers and classmates and such, it’s fine if flirtation is happening. But to a certain degree it’s shitting where you eat. People have professional and to a lesser degree academic personas that are less who they really are than their social personas.
Because there is a very real sentiment called “Don’t shit where you eat.” I learned it the hard way in two different workplaces. In the first one, we broke up and it ruined the work environment. In the second, the ‘no’ was expanded to HR complaints and lawsuits, again ruining the work environment. Knowing someone has (or had) romantic interest in you can be a pain, and it can definitely blow up a working relationship.
Expanding your pool of potential mates increases the chance of finding a mate.
That only works if you would consider the kind of person who likes to spend time at bars as a potential mate though.
Dating is all about going places you don’t like to meet people so also don’t want to be there, which makes literally any other option more appealing.
My SO and I met at a dance. I didn’t want to be there, and my SO thought it was tacky, so we had something immediately in common when I walked over to talk.
It’s a weird, unspoken cultural thing. If I go somewhere to have fun, I’m not interested in meeting new people, I’m interested in the activity.