Relationships come with boundaries and limits though, right? You’re treating monogamy as ownership, but that’s backwards. My partner free to have sexual relationships with whomsoever they want; however, they aren’t free to have any relationship at all with me if that’s a choice they make.

I affirmatively chose my partner; when I made the choice for them, it meant that I made a choice to give up my sexual and romantic autonomy to pursue the relationship with them. I can take my autonomy back at any time, but if I do, I also permanently give up the relationship that I have; that is a boundary that they set, and I knew that when I chose the relationship.

I have been in polyerotic/multiamorous relationships. What is lacking in them is depth. Building relationships takes time, and time is always more limited in poly relationships. The more partners you have, the shallower each relationship gets. Oh, yes, I know that poly people will say that love is infinite. And perhaps they’re even correct. But the time you can spend with each person is very definitely finite.