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Solid
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Pink and I would dedicate the rest of my life to making Elon Musk shit himself literally every time a camera is pointed at him.
Yeah. I got the magenta one years ago. I’ve been making Trump drop a fucking load on camera for awhile now.
just Elon? What about Nigel Farage? pls?
Assuming I could force somebody to poop on command with little effort beyond sheer willpower, I would absolutely take it upon myself to dish out petty justice with that power.
I see you being rude to people working in a service job? You get poopy pants.
I see you playing music on your phone or otherwise being obnoxious on the bus or some other public space? You get poopy pants.
Are you driving like an asshole? Following too closely? Cutting people off? Honking the moment the light turns green? Words can’t express the satisfaction I will feel in knowing that you’re now sitting in your car with the poopiest of pants my power could possibly muster.
I would immediately try to weaponize it. Spend a weekend making putin telepathically shit his brains out without pause should probably be enough to make him die from the sheer loss of matter and nutrients.
The older you get the more your going to want that poop command to use on yourself.
Sorry, it’s kinda like a presidential pardon.
shit
Make me!
Gold made me think of this forgotten greentext.
What? Where I live pissing directly into watter is like the opposite. As my roommate once said: “Didn’t your father taught you how to piss or what?”
You read the greentext. Your roommate probably just didn’t want to be horny anymore.
Real men piss the shitstains off the bowl without making a mess.
What about the ones below the water line?
Piss harder.
It’s our duty!
Pink one definetely, the green, yellow and especially blue are useless.
This is among the shittiest color combinations for colorblind. I only see two colors of pills: something magenta-ish and something yellow-ish
I think that’s why they have words along with them? 🤪 (sorry)
Silly me! That is convenient. Btw I’m torn between “Make your crush like you but only as a friend” pill and “Forcing people to poop on command” pill, though I’ll probably choose “Forcing people to poop on command” pill because it is sillier than “Make your crush like you but only as a friend” which fits silly ol’ me
I’d take yellow because nothing would change
So take green then maybe?
Nah, I don’t like weed or any of the other options
You could probably use that power to kill someone. Pooped to death.
That’s called dysentery.
Pink, you can control any situation with that.
You got some dude coming to attack you with a knife? Point finger guns at him and say “Poop”, they poop instantly stopping them in their tracks, confusing the ever loving fuck out of them… Then you do it again while they stare at you, slowly working out it’s you doing this.
You walk up to them as they slowly try to retreat from you, you hit them one more time and walk off into the distance, leaving him to try to get home without anyone noticing he pooped his pants, because who’s gonna believe him?
He tries to run, but you slow-walk towards him, chanting “poop!” with every step. His pants are heavy, and blood starts to show through his jeans. “I’ll cut your guts out!” he helplessly bluffs. Soon, he crumples up and screams as his guts start emptying into the street; his denim is no longer able to hold the carnage. You see him lying dead at your feet.
You turn back towards the United Healthcare headquarters, and resume your march.
Now, it is finally time to see at what point explosive diarrhea is covered…
What I want to know is, do I have control over consistency, force, and quantity? Is there a limit to the range for this power? Do I need line of sight or is it more of a “Death Note” thing? Can I cause defecation syncope? Can I make someone poop themself to death?
I will just make every single human on earth poop every day at exactly 14:56 UCT
I wouldn’t say anything, and just enjoy seeing how people tries to figure out what’s going on. And maybe how a new religion is born of such a miracle.
That would destroy most places sewage systems lol
Jeez. All you mean people.
I’d take the pink pill and help people with intestinal blockages and stuff.
That’s the best answer.
spoiler
I feel you’ve got a good personal reason behind it that most don’t. I haven’t seen anything from you about your health recently, so I hope you’re doing great, and that the move to the UK goes swell!
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Very slow improvements on the health front and I hope so too, thank you!
Sidebar:
I can only assume Ms. Squid has finished your sweater…
What’s the status on my Penguin sweater?
No rush, of course 😅
She has not! I was hoping it would be my Christmas present.
… I mean it still might be your Christmas present, just this year
She’s not that slow. She just switches between projects.
Just came here to say that this thread is lovely and I totally understand having a bunch of projects going at the same time. I hope ms Squid finds the time, that sweater sounds cute.
Why not both? Help the constipated AND make the world’s worst people shit themselves on live TV…
I’m just saying, no one’s talking about how you could help people with this too.
I don’t know anyone that needs help popping. I know many people who I’d like to make shit themselves.
But what are the rules? Is it like death note where you need their name and be thinking of their face? Or is it “Hey, that 3rd grade math teacher who gave me a hard time. What’s her name? Forgot how she looks, too… she shits herself now!” Type of thing.
Just have to test it out and figure out how it works I suppose.
There’s not a few people you’d want to shit themselves to death? Not even Putin?
Do I want to commit murder? No.
I already have all these powers… Maaaaan…
Are you the person who keeps materialising in my home and screaming “DEFECATE” then disappearing in a puff of fart-cloud?
I’ve had a leg injury lately and I can’t make it to my upstairs bathroom that fast. You have destroyed my stair carpet. The cleaner said it was “unsalvageable” and “honestly shameful”. You need to stop.
“I take a couple uppers, I down a couple downers, But nothin’ compares to these blue and yellow purple pills.”
