On the one hand, my father lost his dad when he was 12, so he is not perfect. I want to assume he is atleast trying his best. But this past year, “his best” was “OK with punching his children” and as far as I know, hasnt seen his grand children. (My sister has a kid. Living happy with her partner. Since sister and partner is not married, my dad doesnt acknowlege them.)
Im OK with skipping the birthday text to father, but mother (who i still talk to) insist i send the text.
Are you dependent on your parents at all? (Ex: you are a child, or they give you money to live.) Send it. You don’t have to mean it.
Otherwise, do what you want. Don’t send one if you don’t want to.
A lot of us had hard lives and didn’t abuse children. Ultimately, we are responsible for our own actions.
As a side note, if he cannot stop abusing children, is there any way you can get them out of that situation, such as reporting to child services?
Am in contact with Mom, but not depedant. Dad is only my “mechanic”. Only “dependant” for car things. Know nothing about cars. (My joke is taken off youtbe but; Guy A:“how big is the engine?” Guy B:“About this big” holding up his hands ~1m apart)
Yeah. If he wanted a birthday text once a year, he ahould have not punched his way to “victory”.
I do look back on the night thst he showed his true colours. I could have called the police about a disturbance, but i didnt. (Religious brainwashing about dad is right, no matter what)
But i didnt.
This June is 1 year of the Straw that broke the Camels back. Wonder how life would be if i made that phone call…
This is hard to understand. Could you expand or write more clearly
Dad punched kids last year. Dads birthday this weekend. Do I wish him a happy birthday? (Mom knows what Dad did, but insists i wish him a happy birthday) (Not sure if you were actually curious of my dilema, or just want me to break it down and answer my own question, but you did the 2nd one)
It was just phrased in a way difficult for me to understand. If you’re so upset what he did that you don’t want to reach out to him then there’s your answer.
I’m sorry a parent acted in a way that hurt you and others. I know how that is.
Why do people wish people wish people happy birthday to each other, wven if you dont care / dont know each other?
The night he proved he was OK with punching his children, i came to the conclusion that “I lost my dad, but i still have a father”.
Its midnight the night before the birthday. Might be a bit rambling. Am 80% sure its OK to skip his birthday, but that 20% is open correction. Am open to learn something new. (Im not a father. Maybe theres something i dont know)