Let me tell you, folks, I was absolutely baffled—nobody has ever been as baffled as I was, believe me. I spoke to the experts, the best experts, and they all agree: I’m the best at being baffled. They’ve never seen anyone quite like me, truly. It’s incredible, really. When you look at what I’ve accomplished, it’s just tremendous. No one has ever been more baffled, and I mean that in the best way possible. We’re talking about a level of bafflement that’s off the charts!

(this was stolen from someone else)