Was banned from [email protected] for calling out a Mod’s misuse of the Egg prime directive to criticize trans people for helping out trans women in denial of their trans-ness. They’re denying the validity of signs of being transgender, what the actual fuck, this shit is not okay. Then after banning me that dipshit locks the post so no one else can reply on it. How is this not power-tripping?
Modlog history for my account: https://discuss.online/modlog?userId=11993717
YDI, your behavior is incredibly hostile and uncalled for. Also WTF? Claiming people can’t play the girl characters and have long hair while still being cis? What the hell, that sounds so dumb and outdated, people can like whatever the fuck they want without it having a deeper meaning. Who the Fuck do you think you are to try and argue otherwise?
Also it’s a two day ban, take the mod’s advice and cool your head, instead of starting more shit.
Hey wait a minute, you’re that dipshit who misgendered someone and said that Neopronouns aren’t valid. You have zero credibility in trans spaces and you should be banned from all of them, go fuck yourself you bigoted piece of shit.
You sound like an alt of @[email protected]. Just further reinforces my opinion that you deserve it that much more.
Best to come with receipts when you say stuff like that about someone.
Here’s a public comment of this asshole denying the validity of nounself pronouns:
https://discuss.online/post/13103441/11998755
Throughout that thread they refused to use the correct neopronouns of that person (drag/dragself) and constantly criticized drag for it.
you literally linked to a comment in which Draconic_NEO said explicitly that neopronouns like xe/xer are valid. and last i checked, calling nounself pronouns “confusing and unintuitive” is not the same as calling them invalid. if you cannot find a concrete example of someone saying they believe something apart from one where they literally say the opposite of that thing, consider rethinking your stance.
He’s arguing that they shouldn’t be used because they’re “confusing and unintuitive” he’s denying the validity of them and refusing to use them, instead calling people who use them trolls. Dumbass is justifying his transphobia by referencing DroneRights and claiming people use those pronouns only to troll. What a repulsive thing to say about a trans person.
@[email protected] you should be ashamed of yourself, and be banned from every instance on the Fediverse like the hateful transphobic troll you are.
for fuck’s sake, chill. they were calling out one specific trans person who was harassing people who weren’t using their preferred pronouns.
Draconic_NEO thinks that while trans people are valid, and neopronouns like xe/xer are valid, neoprounouns like “drag” that refer only to a single person cease to function as pronouns. when a word refers exclusively to a single person, that word is a proper noun. Draconic_NEO also thinks that hounding people over failure to use neopronouns is not especially poggers. these are both very reasonable stances.
by your comment history i’m guessing you’ve just started hormones. you’re definitely not the first trans girl who’s gone through a major emotional phase. hormones are running high – it’s no surprise you’re prone to lashing out. but i’d like to remind you that you’re saying that someone hates all trans people based on an opinion in reference to neopronouns, which are an entirely separate issue from the concept of transness and a contentious topic even among nonbinary people – an opinion, i might add, that that person has demonstrated they do not hold.
personally, I’d advocate against someone being banned from the entire Fediverse if they said being gay should be illegal – and i am gay. people’s opinions can change, and permanent bans from entire platforms do nothing except make them more bitter and more hateful. you can ban assholes from communities, and if you disagree with the mods on whether someone should be banned, lemmy has a block button for a reason.
more to the point, though, the point of the fediverse is, and has been from its inception, uncensorable freedom of speech. the fact that no corporation – and by extension no individual – can tell you what you can and can’t say, regardless of what that is, is literally the entire point. the fediverse is an unfathomably large place, not limited to the five or six instances you keep hearing about, and it is designed specifically so that it is impossible to completely ban someone. in fact, TruthSocial (Donald Tr*mp’s personal Tw*tter clone) is a Mastodon instance. the price we pay for nobody being able to tell us what we can and can’t post about here on fedi with regard to queerness is that we have no means to fight back against anti-gay/anti-trans dipshits besides defederation and the block button.
also, pro tip: pinging someone over and over and calling them a hateful bigot, especially when they aren’t, doesn’t make them change their mind, it just makes them annoyed at you.
YDI
If someone acted like this towards me, told me I absolutely had to be trans, I would have stayed in that egg way fucking longer. You don’t get to decide someone is trans anymore than a mod does, the only person who can decide is the person themselves.
You’re being hostile in what should be a friendly and welcoming space, the mod did a good thing here and you probably need to spend some time reflecting on your actions.
I apologize for being angry and losing my cool, but come on, that mod shouldn’t even be a mod there, he’s a femboy, not trans. Why should he be allowed to sit there and deny the signs of being trans to other trans women then lock the post after silencing me so no one can criticize him anymore. Am I the only one who sees that as wrong?
He’s a femboy, not trans.
The sub says “and other eggy topics”, no? Also from how heated your messages were I’d say a 2 day cool down is fair.
Edit: just saw this was 10 days ago, mb 😓
As a trans woman who wears jeans and Ts and feels more at home in a machine shop than a stitch and bitch (although stitch and bitches rock) the narrative that feminine coded behaviour is a necessary and/or sufficient condition for being a trans woman is deeply damaging medicalised bullshit.
Don’t push people to perform cisness or transness, just let them discover themselves.
I’m not saying that people need to perform in ways to be trans. I myself am like that I don’t act or dress particularly feminine (been denied official care for that as well) I am saying though that for many people these are signs and the mod is denying the validity of signs that people are trans with their statements while hiding behind the egg prime directive.
Can you all stop downvoting the OP? Please?
OP, you probably already the stuff that I’m going to say; I’ll share for the sake of others.
Here’s what I believe to be the first part of the comic from the OOP (it seems to have been deleted):
TL;DR of the “Egg Prime Directive”: “the fact that trans people have an unspoken agreement not to tell people who are questioning their gender whether or not they are trans.”
Now here’s my take: YDI.
We humans do the same things for different reasons. And we should not be assuming why someone else does it.
That’s one of the aspects of the egg prime directive, and the mod is simply acknowledging it - that the only person who perhaps knows why that AMAB kid is playing as a girl character is the kid themself. (Or why the AFAB kid is playing as a boy character.)
The other aspect is that, even if the person happens to be trans, you don’t break an egg open from the outside; instead you keep the egg warm and the nest comfy. You don’t deny it, but you don’t confirm it, you make sure that the person feels loved regardless of their identity.
So no, the egg prime directive is not some “vague ass ideology”, as you called it. It has good reasons to exist. Not following it does more harm than good.
Beyond that: yes, you were enforcing gender stereotypes. And yes, you were rude and hostile.
I also think that the 2d “chill your head!” ban was appropriate.
Can you all stop downvoting the OP? Please?
Well, upvote the thread, downvote the comments.
That mod was denying the validity of the signs of being trans, and they’re not even trans themselves. Does it really seem appropriate to take advice from a cis person about what it really means to be trans?
I know that I reacted strongly but the fact is they really should not be a mod there, they’re hiding behind the Egg prime directive to deny the experiences of real trans women because they think our stories about coming out are forcing gender stereotypes.
Also that mod very clearly overstepped by locking the post so no one else could criticize him for his invalidation of transfem experiences of being eggs and the signs we didn’t see. Is that okay and justified for him to be able to silence people like that?
Please, don’t misgender the mod. They identify as agender, not cis. This should be respected, even if you disagree with them.
The “core” of the advice comes from someone who’s trans, Cassie LaBelle. The mod just applied it to this specific case.
And even if the mod wasn’t from another group of people who, just like you, are also marginalised because of their gender (or lack of)… well, what matters is what is said, not who says it.
I’m cis, mind you. I’m talking about this here because it’s how this comm works: you share something, then others say if they think that you, the mod, both, or neither are right. (And because I have trans friends who often talk about stuff, I hope I can relay their views a wee bit.)
Correct me if I’m wrong, but from your comments it seems that people were actively denying that you were trans, for a long time. What the mod is doing is something else entirely; they are not saying “your experience as a trans woman is invalid!”, they’re saying “everyone has different experiences”. What was a sign for you might not be for someone else, and vice versa.
Also that mod very clearly overstepped by locking the post so no one else could criticize him for his invalidation of transfem experiences of being eggs and the signs we didn’t see. Is that okay and justified for him to be able to silence people like that?
I’d probably do the same - it’s a 3m old post, it had lots of activity, but the new activity is being combative.
If they genuinely wanted to silence you the ban wouldn’t be just two days.
That person seems like one of those toxic assholes who misgenders people on purpose and is okay with forcing gender stereotypes onto people even if it means misgendering them for what they believe to be some greater good. I think they probably should’ve gotten a permaban, not a temporary one.
That mod said on more than one occasion that he was a femboy and he’s used he/him pronouns to describe himself. I’m not misgendering him just because he chooses to sometimes call himself Agender but almost never really refers to himself that way. If he actually is I’m really confused since most Agender people aren’t also femboys.
When people haven’t lived the experience they won’t have accurate knowledge on the subject of the trans experience, and shouldn’t be telling other people whether signs are valid of being trans or not. Signs are valid and can identify someone being trans before they identify it themselves.
Cassie seems to support the idea that many trans people need help, that they are terrible at listening to their inner voice. She even craved it herself. I don’t think this helps that mod’s cause, if anything it just shows how bad what he’s doing is.
That mod is denying the validity of signs off being transgender, and saying they aren’t signs. In a community dedicated to breaking out of denial and recognizing that one is trans. I have been invalidated a lot and I’ve been in fierce denial, people shouldn’t have to live through that, they should be helped out.
I also don’t think the mod was trying to silence me specifically but any criticism of his words. Maybe he didn’t want to call negative attention to himself and get removed as a mod for permanently banning a trans woman from a trans community, he still banned be though, and he locked the post so people can’t criticize him for saying those awful invalidating things.
Gods damn, YDI big time.
You were being a complete asshole. Shit, I’d have banned you permanently, not just temporary. Way over the line of civility.
Why are you suggesting what is cis or trans or anything else for someone else’s brain? It comes off like bullies I might have seen in the 90s. “Oh you like art and fantasy? F**!” “Oh you like cooking, like a woman???” It’s best not to make rules of identity for how people express themselves.
Liking art didn’t make me gay, and liking cooking didn’t make me a woman, despite what someone said about me then.
Jumping on this too. YDI.
Before I was out, this attitude hurt me tremendously. The egg prime directive needs to be handled with care, or not handled at all. No one tells me how to identity. NO ONE.
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I’m sorry I don’t have a nicer laptop with a higher res screen so I can take bigger screenshots. Maybe I should dip into my savings and buy one instead of saving up to get bottom surgery. It’s no one else’s problem that I have a penis after all. That was sarcasm, I’m not doing that at all, get used to low-res screenshots because I’m not buying a better laptop unless this one dies or I have a vagina (probably won’t for a while afterwards bc I’ll be in debt).
You were banned for hostility and rudeness, and I cannot help agreeing with it.
That mod is likely a cis person telling trans women what it means to be trans and denying their signs of being trans, I have the right to be angry at him.
