Two Bulgarians are driving through the countryside when they are pulled over by an officer. “Sorry to bother you”, says the officer, “but I’m looking for two child molesters.”
The Bulgarians look at each other for a moment, turn to the officer, and with a solemn nod say
“We’ll do it.”
In case people are wondering: it’s indeed a german joke.
It’s a pun. “meet” and “hit” are using the same word in german
Come to think of it, that’s a thing in Swedish as well - we could make the pun work there as well:
Två jägare träffades. Båda dog.
Båda dog! Båda dog! No Treåt
(I know å is pronounced like “eu” like in Blåhaj. Couldn’t help myself tho)
For it to match Swedish phonetic rules, it would have to be:
Bäd dågg! Bäd dågg! Nåu trit!
Oh true my bad, thank you!
That joke used to work in English.
By c. 1300, of things, “to come into physical contact with, join by touching or uniting with;” also, of persons, “come together by approaching from the opposite direction; come into collision with, combat.”
https://www.etymonline.com/word/meet
It still can mean collision or fight, but the context needs to be very clear. Two armies meeting on the battlefield, for example. Or two hunters met in combat.
That’s why translation can be so hard, especially for poems, songs, comedy etc. Double meanings, metaphors, rhymes etc are often lost when translated.
In some cases you can replace a pun with another pun that works in the target language.
In other cases, where you’re translating a religious text, doing something for scholarly reasons, or you otherwise think your audience would really like to know what’s going on in a text you have to add a translation note.
I only understand train station.
I gonna explain the the joke in the picture.
The German joke is “Treffen sich zwei Jäger, beide Tot.”
THW important word is “treffen”. It can mean “meet” and “hit”(with a weapon). depending on the context
Oh I thought it was a Dick Cheney joke, I guess that’s the American version though. It actually made perfect sense to me even without the double meaning.
Another one from Saxony.
A man drives his car to the junkyard, looking for replacement parts. He greets the owner and asks:
“Windshield wiper for a Trabant?”
The junkyard owner thinks for a moment, then replies:
“Sure, sounds like a fair exchange.”The Wikipedia page on East German jokes has a few Trabant jokes.
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What’s the best feature of a Trabant? – There’s a heater at the back to keep your hands warm when you’re pushing it.
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A new Trabi has been launched with two exhaust pipes – so you can use it as a wheelbarrow.
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How do you double the value of a Trabant? – Fill it with gas.
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The back page of the Trabant manual contains the local bus schedule.
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Four men were seen carrying a Trabant. Somebody asks them why? Was it broken? They reply: “No, nothing wrong with it, we’re just in a hurry.”
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How do you catch a Trabi? – Place a piece of chewing gum on the road.
The heated rear window one and the doubling its value one were jokes that we used to make about Skodas before they got good.
Also, what do you call a Skoda with a sunroof? A skip.
haha that one’s rough! That said, you can put a lot in a junk car.
-
Aha!
I think that gold one with the body kit actually looks really cool
The farmer and the farmhand are out in the field working. Suddenly the sky closes in and it looks like rain. The farmhand says to the farmer: “If we don’t hurry now, we’ll get soaked here.” The farmer says to the farmhand: “Then go into the house and get my wellies!” The farmhand says: “Why me? Why don’t you get your wellies yourself?” The farmer looks at the farmhand angrily and asks: “Who’s the farmer? Who’s the Farmhand?”
The farmhand goes into the house in a rage. The farmer’s wife and her pretty daughter are sitting at the kitchen table. The farmhand says to the two of them: “The farmer said you two should get naked so I can fuck you.” The two women look at each other. The farmer’s wife is surprised: “No, I don’t believe that. The farmer would never say something like that, would he?” “Yes, he would,” says the farmhand. “But I can ask again just in case.” He goes to the kitchen window and opens it. The farmer’s wife has followed him and is standing next to it. The farmhand shouts out into the field: “Farmer, both of them?” The farmer looks at the window and shouts back: “Both of course, you idiot!”
“Yes, both of them! What would be the point of just one?!”
In the early 80s, American scientists and engineers produced the smallest precision drill bit ever created. With great pride and fanfare, they sent it to their West German colleagues for study and reproduction.
Just days later, the engineering team received a parcel. In it, a note: “Thank you for letting us test our equipment” and the original drill bit with a hole drilled through its center.
I know a variant
endingof this:I messed up a bit. They were sending the thinnest wire they could build.
Just days later, the engineering team received their
drillbitwire with a note attached: „The description got lost on the way. We didn’t know what to do with the rod you sent us, so we cut an internal threading into it. Best regards!“
What’s yellow, and waiting? Jonathan.
e: i promise it’s not racist
What’s the joke here?
In french, Jonathan sounds like ‘jaune attend’ (yellow waits)
Girl goes to a store and asks: “do you sell pantyhoses?”. The salesman replies: “why? Do you have half an ass?”
A dog walks into a bar and says “I can’t see a thing. I’ll open this one.”
Those ancient Sumerians sure knew how to make some knee-slappers.
That’s sadly the funniest German joke I’ve ever heard, I mean the punchline is there, but the set-up isn’t, meaning it’s closer to what I recognize as a joke than most Germanic Humor.
Edit: Nope, funnier German jokes are in this comment chain, I’m in a good mood today
Here a joke my english teacher always told us:
What says a Saxon in New York when he wants a Christmas tree? .
A tännchen, please.
The saxon “a tännchen” sounds in english like: attention
Oh I can do German-style comedy too, but as an American.
A Democrat and a Republican walk into a bar. They fight and both die in the hospital. Their families have to each pay $80,000 for medical expenses, then both families sue the bar. The bar closes, the owner divorces, spirals into alcoholism, and commits suicide. Then the funeral director buys a new house.
You said comedy, not children stories!
A European man at his favorite vacation/holiday destination on the Mediterranean goes into a bar and says, “One pint of beer.” The bartender brings him the pint, and the man pays him the price of the beer without leaving a tip. The man drinks the beer. He falls into alcoholism again. When he returns home, he discusses with his doctor options for treating alcoholism. The man is sent to a rehabilitation facility for a few months and recovers. When he returns home, he still has his job. lmaooooo Europe is so much better than USA 🤣🤣🤣
Only one issue. Beer is not sold by pints in the Mediterranean.
Fine. A Celsius or kilometer of beer then.
«done is done said the moose and walked over the river and became a reindeer.»
in norwegian done rhymes with deer, and reindeer rhymes with clean.
An angry Ontarian calls a radio show, and complains about all the Newfies coming to Ontario to take the good jobs. “We aughta build a wall to keep them Newfies out!”
Next call to the radio show is a newfie: “Owshegettinonb’y? Ye by’s be havin’ any jobs bildin tha’ wall or wha’?”
(How are you doing? You guys have any jobs building that wall, or what?)
The pot is lauging because the boiler is black.
